Month: February 2016

I am divorced. The reason is not because she fell in love with another man. It is not because of an affair. It is not because of any behavior that she did. There is only one reason why I am divorced and that reason is because my marriage was not important to me. The world, which is to say ‘satan’, will have me to believe it was her fault for all these reasons. Because of her behavior, satan and all his agents in the world say I should hate her. In fact, satan and his agents in this world would have me hate women as a whole. Nevertheless, I have to be honest and tell the truth. It was not her fault, it was mine.

Have you ever heard it said, “Home is where the heart is.” Have you ever heard this one (or something similar), “show me a person’s checkbook and I will show you their priorities.” My heart was not in the marriage. My checkbook shows other passions. I was giving more time to the VFW than my wife and son. I was giving more time to work. I was buying dumb things that fell apart and wasted away. I spent more money on alcohol than my family. I was giving more of my love to my friends than my family. I am not saying that what was done was right. I am saying that a flower that is not watered does not grow. A car not filled with gas will not run. A switch not flipped does not electrify the light. I took a lot for granted and did not nurture the most important people in my life, my wife and son. And the absolute worst part of it all, I justified all I did. I did it with passion. Even drinking, meaning I never just had a beer. When I drank, there was only one purpose, to get drunk. With every behavior I did, I screamed to my wife that I did not care about her. I did not love her. Even though the words “I want a divorce” and “I am not in love with you anymore” made me realize how much I did love her, the fact remains that for many years my behavior was hurting her as much as those words hurt me. Yep, no doubt about it. My marriage was simply not at the top of my priority list. I told her all the time that I loved her. I tell God that I love him, that I am His, that His will be done. But I do not act like it.

Ralph W. Emerson once said, “Who you are speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you’re saying.”

Do you really think that God does not know where your true love lies. Is it with him, or with you. My ex-wife is not God, but over the years even she was able to look past my words and see that I was more about myself than her. How painful that must have been. How painful it must be to God to hear his children say I love you, only to know, not needing behavior because He is God and knows the minds of man, that we only really love ourselves.

Colossians 3: 1If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. ² Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. ³ For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. ⁴ When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory. ⁵ Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.

After we make a huge mistake, I think it is fair to say that most of us look back over that mistake and start picking at places that were pivotal. I certainly do. I did that after my divorce. What did I do wrong? What could I have done differently? People say not to do this, but let’s be honest, we do it anyway, at least I did. As I have grown in my faith, I have come to understand a lot of things. My “I wish I would have….” list is pretty extensive at this time in my life. I know, again, that people say this is a bad thing, a waste of time. But I think it helps me make better decisions today. I remember things, and tell myself, “Hey, don’t do that again….remember how that worked out last time?” Colossians 3:1 is a verse that I wish I would have had drilled into my head as a child instead of Roman’s 8:28. I think this verse sets the priority for the Christian. My marriage failed because I did not treat it with the importance, respect, and love it required; therefore, it died. It occurs to me that if I would have applied Colossians 3:1 to it, things might have turned out differently. Having said all this, I get to this question, “Am I making the same mistake over again with my relationship with God?”

If I am risen with God actually means “since I am saved”. This is not a comment of doubt. It is God saying, this is what being risen in me looks like. Since I believe I am saved, then all matters of my life will be driven by my focus on heaven, on God. If I profess my love for Christ, am I expressing my love through obedience, or am I committing spiritual adultery? I believe not giving most of your attention, that being distracted, whether it is a woman, booze, gambling, work, even an overzealous drive to work out and have a perfect body, from my wife was adultery none-the-less. I did not pay attention to her. God says that we are to put Him first. He is the head of our lives and that, unlike the attention we give each other that is not all we have, we are to absolutely never take God off our minds. We engage in many activities, including activities of work and service to others, and that is all good, as long as our motivation is God. We stop glorifying Him when we start working to make more money because we love money, we start working out because we love our body, we drink because we love alcohol, and so on. When any activity takes away from the priorities set by God, it doesn’t matter how great it is, it is now sinful because you are now being disobedient in doing it.

The greatest sin is Idolatry. It is the sin that fits most activity. In fact, there are countless sins that can be reduced to the root sin of idolatry. Love of your own body, love of your own happiness, the desire to be loved by others, and so on. In my first marriage I was such an idolater. I was worried about one thing, me!

Key Verse

¹⁷ And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

The bible is written in many ways. There are poems, stories (parables), idioms, and there are commands. It is broken down into two basic forms of English. Indicatives, and imperatives. Some verses are meant for you to think, and some are meant for you to follow. I think that Colossians 3:17 is a verse that is straight forward and is meant at a command. I believe it is an imperative statement. I believe it needs no interpretation and is meant to be followed. Whether I (and you) am cooking dinner for the family, at work earning an honest living, running to stay healthy, being a husband or wife, being a son or daughter, I am to do it all in the name of Jesus, giving him thanks. Notice the first four words. “In whatsoever you do…” I believe that covers everything; leaving you no room to allow your earthly mind to create exceptions. Look at the next four words, “in word or deed…” Again, that pretty much covers everything. The fact that Paul took the time to clarify is one of the things that makes me see this not as a suggestion, not as something that is poetic, but as a command. Additionally, I believe the manner of writing here also indicates that this command is totally inclusive of all behaviors. Everything we do is to bring Glory to God.

I have talked about my first marriage because I feel like this lesson would have served me well in my youth. Things might have not ended differently because another lesson that I wish I would have learned earlier in my life was being equally yoked. But to stay on topic, I think recognizing that if not giving the appropriate attention to a spouse can lead to a divorce; it is fair to wonder what the consequences can be to the relationship with God if I treat Him the same way. God requires it; His word commands us to give it. It warns us of the things in the world. I think that accepting Christ into your heart is supposed to change you. It doesn’t just mean that there are a select few behaviors we don’t engage in. I laugh because some Christians are like, “I can’t do that because it is against the law, and Christians don’t break the law.” I find that funny because, while it is true, I believe the law has become so encompassing that I don’t believe anyone who tells me that they don’t break the law. From speeding, to failing to signal, to spitting on the sidewalk, there are just so many ways to break the law. However, I think it is funny because NO ONE should break the law. Obeying the law is what we are all supposed to do, and does not separate you from the world. What separates us is that we do not do things that are legal, but do not bring ultimate glory to God. We have to refrain from the things that are not only illegal to man, but bring sin into our lives. I speak of things like watching movies that put the thoughts of lust into your mind, like engaging in behaviors that cause you to worship other things besides God, to love something so much that it takes time away from God. That is exactly the behavior I talked about above. It did not work for my first marriage, and it is not going to work in my salvation.

John 14: ¹⁵ “If you love Me, keep My commandments. .

Again, the word ‘if’ here is not meant as doubt. It is saying since you love me, since I am in your mind, since you are following me, you will keep my commands. Many of us think, just like I did in my marriage, that I can give a little attention and it will all be okay. In the same regard, I can go to church once or twice a week, maybe spend ten or fifteen minutes reading the bible a couple days a week and it will all be okay. God says not! If I love God I will deny myself and do what he tells me. I will keep my mind set on him, not on getting out of church on time for football. I will not put anything before him.

Of this John Gill says, “Christ is Lord over his people, as he is the Creator and Redeemer of them, and as he is an head and husband to them, and as such he has a right to issue out his commands, and enjoin a regard unto them; and these are peculiarly “his”, as distinct from, though not in opposition to, or to the exclusion of, his Father’s commands; such as the new commandment of loving one another, and the ordinances of baptism, and the Lord’s supper, which are to be observed and kept as Christ has ordered them, constantly, in faith, and with a view to his glory.”

If you stand in the mirror, what will the reflection tell you about your relationship with God, and what are you going to do about it? May the peace of God be abundantly heaped upon you and your home, straight from the cross to the Christian!

I remember my youth very well. I have done some things that are not at all good. I was once told by a preacher that retelling stories of old helps you hold on to things you should be letting go of. I agree with that. But sometimes, when I meet someone who thinks they are so wrong that they are unforgivable, I have to pull out a story or two. No, I am not the worse person on earth, as far as earthly measurements go. But I think there is a characteristic to God that we all seem to forget. A sin is a sin is a sin. No one sin outranks another.

Romans 3- 9 What then? are we better than they? No, in no wise: for we have before proved both Jews and Gentiles, that they are all under sin; 10 As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one: 11 There is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God. 12 They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one. 13 Their throat is an open sepulchre; with their tongues they have used deceit; the poison of asps is under their lips: 14 Whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness: 15 Their feet are swift to shed blood: 16 Destruction and misery are in their ways: 17 And the way of peace have they not known: 18 There is no fear of God before their eyes.

We all grieve the spirit. Those of us who speak evil in the name of giving the rest of us a piece of their mind, bring about as much destruction on their soul as those who murder, rape, and grieve the Holy Spirit himself. To God it is all a disobedient work against His will.

There are those who believe that Jesus made it easier by being the walking example of love. I would say that Jesus raised the stakes a bit. He told us that hating is just as dammed as murder, and to even think about another in a lustful way is to fornicate. The message that we should take from Jesus is that the mind is our heart and it must be sober. That is written often. Most of us think that all we have to do to be obedient to this is not drink. But again, Jesus increased our obedience level, he did not minimize it.

Romans 12- ³ For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.

The word soberly here is Sophroneo, and it means to have a sound mind. It is possible to be sober and not have a sound mind. I know many who do not drink but are corrupted with other sin that blocks the brain from sound judgement. Addicts, gamblers, perverts, brawlers, sluggards, and many other sinful natures stop us from having a sober mind. Again, mainly because we fail to realize that the idea of having a sound mind is dependent on God and not man. If God is not the head of your life, and is not the root of your thinking, you cannot possibly have a sober mind.

John Gill comments- There is none righteous as Adam was, in a state of innocence; for all have sinned, and are filled with unrighteousness, and are enemies to righteousness; none are righteous by their obedience to the law of works; nor are there any righteous in the sight of God, upon the foot of their own righteousness, however they may appear in their own eyes, and in the sight of others; nor are any inherently righteous, for there is none without sin, sanctification is imperfect; nor is it, either in whole or in part, a saint’s justifying righteousness; indeed there is none righteous, no, not one, but those who are justified by the righteousness of Christ

When I was left to my own leadership, I was truly lost. I made very costly mistakes. And the wonderful thing about that is even though I know God has forgiven me, I am still paying the consequences for some of those mistakes. I believe many think that if God forgives that means there are no consequences. They then translate that to if God forgives then Christians should forgive. This is all true. The problem is that no matter what, consequences abound. Forgiveness does not erase consequences in all cases. It surely can, but most of the time, not so much.

In my youth I also had many friends. They are a great bunch of guys. I don’t see hardly any of them anymore, but, for most, we quietly stay in touch with each other by way of social media. Many of us are scattered, so that is the best I can do. But I have thought on many occasions that the journey God put me on led me to where I am so that, as He worked in the lives of others regarding all the things they need, I would get the things I need. God is an awesome orchestrator like that. I can say that I have a much smaller group of friends than I did while in my youth, but the Holy Ghost Power in each of them makes my present day family much stronger than it ever was. I feel fuller today than I ever have.

When I look back now, and how I got to several key points in my life, I think that God intervened in the decision because I just don’t know why I did some of the things I did. I got some awesome blessings along the way, and endured some major set-backs. I made some bad choices, and sometimes failed to act on, what I believe now, would have been better choices. But I am where I am. Is that for me, or am I here for someone else? Am I here for the now, or am I, again, being groomed for something that is yet to come? I think most of us who believe have these questions. But God’s grace fills voids in our soul better than anything else man can find on his own. We feel alone because we fail to connect, not because God left us. In fact, God has advised us how to connect.

Hebrews 13- ¹ Let brotherly love continue. ² Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. ³ Remember them that are in bonds, as bound with them; and them which suffer adversity, as being yourselves also in the body. ⁴ Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. ⁵ Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. ⁶ So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me. ⁷ Remember them which have the rule over you, who have spoken unto you the word of God: whose faith follow, considering the end of their conversation. ⁸ Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and forever.

God tells us how to connect with others, how to fill the void, and the pitfalls to be aware of. Take notice and be active, and joy will fill that void, happiness will replace that sadness, accomplishment will erase failure, and the peace of contentment will overcome the anxiety of displeasure.

If you stand in the mirror, what will the reflection tell you about your relationship with God, and what are you going to do about it? May the peace of God be abundantly heaped upon you and your home, straight from the cross to the Christian!

At some point in time I believe each of us has had the conversation with ourselves regarding the body. You probably have thought that you either need to go on a diet, or have a balanced diet to keep the rock body you have been blessed with. At some point you may have had to talk with yourself about changing your diet because of things like diabetes, cholesterol, high blood pressure and so on. I truly believe that all have had to have some sort of conversation with themselves about the food they eat. Nevertheless, I will refrain from using that absolute statement and stick to saying that “Most” of us have had this conversation.

There have been many times that I have had to have a discussion with me about the food going into this mouth and what it is doing to this body. I have always been heavy, except for several brief periods of time. My junior and senior year in high school, my early days in the army, and a couple years in my late twenties where times when I enjoyed being thin. Being thin had a lot to do with my diet, my exercise, and my attitude.

Why is it that we care more about our bodies than our souls? We think so much of our bodies that we will read and read about what is good and what is not good for it. We will go to doctors to discuss with experts what is good for it, and what we are to do to it if it is failing. More importantly, most of will listen to them. We will listen to people we do not even know, just because they said they went to school for it. It is amazing to me the stock we put into the words of strangers about the condition and care of our bodies, but we will not seek out the wisdom of experts on how to take care of the soul. In fact, we come up with excuses (unacceptable- each and every one of them) as to why we do not need to go and see an expert.

If we are smart enough to understand that there are behaviors that are not good for our bodies, and refrain from them, then why can’t we understand that there are behaviors that are not good for our souls and refrain from them? If we can seek help when the body tells us it’s in trouble, why can’t we seek help when the soul is in trouble? If we care so much about our bodies to go on diets, then why don’t we care for our souls enough to put it on a diet?

First, we have to know we have a soul. Believers know we have a soul, but do non-believers? Evolution would have us to believe that we have no souls because we evolved from nothing. How can nothing have a soul? But we did not evolve, we were created. And the process of how we became to have a soul was recorded for us in scripture.

Genesis 2:7- And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.

Ecclesiastes 12:7- Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it.

So we see that God who created man breathed life into man and we see that when the life is over that breath will return to God who owns it. For those who ask what a soul is exactly, you see here the answer. The soul that is in you is the breath of God. It does not belong to you. It belongs to God. When your days are over, God will collect it from you. The body that we all worry about so much will return to the earth. With all of its diabetes, fatness, arthritis, cancer, and whatever ails you, it will all return to the earth from whence it was originally formed. So I ask again, just to keep us on track here, why do we spend so much time concerned about the diet for the body, and so little time providing the healthy diet for our soul? We take better care of cars that do not belong to us than the soul that is not ours but is Gods.

So if we know that the soul is God’s breath, and He will collect His breath when we leave this earth, why wouldn’t we want that soul to be in the best condition possible when He collects it? What do we do to care for it?

Well, first we have to understand that there is nothing we have that it needs. God has what it needs. So we must connect our souls to the Father. Those who ask, “Why do I need God?” “Why do I need to be saved?” This is your answer. First, you have nothing that feeds the soul. Therefore, you cannot save it yourself, you can only destroy it by not making the right choices. And since you did not create it, you cannot sustain it, you cannot grow it, you must realize that the only thing that you can do is ruin it by believing that you can do all these thing which we just learned you cannot do. There is nothing that man has to offer the soul. You are not in control of your life, basically because it is not your life. You belong to God, your soul, your being, your purpose, YOU PERIOD, you belong to God. To believe that the bible is false and that there is no God is to cut off the soul from its food source. That would be like saying that the body does not need water. Do you know that the body needs water more than it needs food? You will eventually need food because water does not have the nutrients the body needs. But the body is made up of mostly water and needs it to prevent dehydration more than food. The soul is God’s breath and it needs God’s word to be in good condition. It will not die, God will collect it, and either that soul is going to be in an acceptable condition, or it is not.

Psalm 23 tells us that the LORD restores our soul. Accepting Christ as your savior and having Him as the head of your life means that he “restores my soul”. Jesus Christ is the doctor to the soul. He restores it. Thus, His word feeds it. Listen to man all you want, read all of man’s books, NOTHING takes the place of meditation over the scriptures. Follow the directions of man, and priests. NOTHING takes the place of obedience to the LORD’s commands. Jesus says, “If you love me, you will follow me.” That means if you love Him, you will be obedient to him.

You can feel spiritual weakness just like physical weakness. You don’t feel like going to church, you don’t want to talk about God, you feel no conviction when faced with ungodly things, there just doesn’t seem to be any joy in anything you do, you find no contentment and always want more, and even you cannot muster any happiness in your life. These, just to name a few, are symptoms of a weak soul. You need healing!! You need soul healing and restoring. You need the medicine of scripture. Your condition may be so critical, you need to put yourself on a diet. You are letting to much garbage in, and too much garbage is coming out. Just like a regular diet, I used to think that if I lost two or three pounds, what is one night of pasta binging going to hurt? That’s how diets fail. When you commit to a diet, you have to commit. That’s why most people fail, commitment is too hard. The same is true spiritually. Committing to Christ means cutting out the garbage. Most people don’t want to do that. They hold on to sinful ways and believe that because they cry out LORD LORD they are on a diet. Not so! This diet is an all or nothing way of life. There is no cheating on the Spiritual Diet! It is all Christ or nothing. You cannot have Christ for five minutes in the morning and an hour on Sunday and then suck in the garbage of the world during the rest of your day, and think you are on a diet. You cannot talk about the program all day every day and then not follow the recipes/directions and be on the diet. You have to follow the instructions!

The diet of the LORD is specific. There is no room, not even an inch for your thoughts. God has told us what he thinks of man’s thoughts.

Isaiah 55- ⁶ Seek ye the Lord while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near: ⁷ Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the Lord, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. ⁸ For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. ⁹ For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Mark 7- ²¹ For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, ²² Thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness: ²³ All these evil things come from within, and defile the man.

To this verse John Gill comments, “The inside of man is very bad, his inward part is not only wicked, but wickedness itself, yea, very wickedness, in him dwells no good thing naturally, his heart is wicked, and desperately so; it is full of evil; and out of the abundance of it, proceed the evil things hereafter mentioned; all its powers and faculties are vitiated, there is no place clean; the understanding and judgment are dreadfully corrupted; the mind and conscience are defiled; the affections are inordinate…”

1 Corinthians 3- ¹⁸ Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you seemeth to be wise in this world, let him become a fool, that he may be wise. ¹⁹ For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, He taketh the wise in their own craftiness. ²⁰ And again, The Lord knoweth the thoughts of the wise, that they are vain.

Adam Clarke comments on “The Lord Knoweth the thoughts of the wise” and his comments are beautiful, “They are always full of schemes and plans for earthly good; and God knows that all this is vain, empty, and unsatisfactory; and will stand them in no stead when he comes to take away their souls.”

Our thoughts, independent of the spirit, are wicked and vain. Letting the spirit into our soul restores is, feeds it, and strengthens it. Put yourself on a diet of the gospel for your own souls sake. Feed your soul that it may be healthy and drive you earnestly towards a deep and life sustaining relationship with Christ!!

If you stand in the mirror what will the reflection tell you about your relationship with God, and what are you going to do about it? May the peace of God be abundantly heaped upon you and your home, straight from the cross to the Christian!

I have been spending most of this week on a roller coaster of emotions. It is funny that when emotions stir up regarding one issue, you seem to be overly sensitive to emotions attached to other issues. Meaning, what you thought you were dealing with well can be totally derailed by the wrong “one more thing”. It has caused me to stand in the mirror and admit to myself, ‘for as easy as it sounds, it sure is hard.’

Matthew chapter 6 speaks to how we as foolish men worry about all details of life. We worry and think about them as if we are the manager of them, as if we have control over them. We think about how we can manipulate circumstances. We really try hard to be in control of our lives. Matthew delivers that message strong in chapter 6. That is why verse 33 is so powerful and true, yet so difficult.

³³ But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

“Seek ye FIRST!!” This means before anything else. No exceptions!! No ‘yeah but’!!! Turning to God is the first and only answer. We are told here that by having the faith and strength to resist the flesh and seek the divine we will have all the things talked about previously in chapter 6, food/clothes/drink, added unto us. This chapter is all about the lesson of trusting on the LORD and not ourselves. We are seriously being told to stop. Just stop!! The LORD provides for the least of the earth’s creatures, He will provide for you!

Truly making the LORD the head of our lives and truly turning ALL things over to the LORD seems easy, but man, it is really hard. I feel confident in saying that most would probably declare that they do turn all things over to God. But I would be equally confident to say that as those same people get up off their face from prayer, they picked issues back up and continue to try to solve it on their own. What I mean is, show me an issue that you truly left at the foot of the cross, and I will, most likely, be able to show you an issue you don’t care about very much. I don’t mean to insult, as there are people who have great faith and know what it means to truly leave it at the foot of the cross. I would feel confident about that because I know it happens to me about those things that really mean something to me. We know we should leave it at the cross because the bible says we should.

1 Peter 5: ⁶ Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: ⁷ Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

There are many more verses that encourage us to endure through our trials. I love James 1 as he tells to rejoice in our diverse temptations. But I war with my flesh. Because you are human just like me, I am certain that you do as well. The flesh focuses on the trial, making us forget that there is a power greater and more capable than we. The flesh tells me, “I got this”. Then that “one more thing” comes and I realize I don’t have a thing!! In his letter to the Church of Rome Paul talks about this higher power.

Romans 13 Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God. ² Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.

As I ride my roller coaster, I learn that when I am high and enjoying life I love to talk of God. As I descend into the valley I grip harder onto the rail and trust in my own strength to keep me in my seat. The same things as those “Whip” type rides. You grab that rail and you try to stay in your position. But God’s naturally created forces are too strong. I don’t know about you, but I usually go sliding out of position. It is this urge to grip harder to the rail we must resist. Why is it important to separate yourself from the world? Because the more time you spend there, the less time you spend with God. The less time you spend with God translates to less trust in Him. The more time you spend in the world translates into you trusting in more worldly things, like your own strength. To build that relationship with God so that, even in those valleys when your body really wants to grab that rail, you can let go and say that God is truly in control, which is the faith that truly sets a believer free. The bottom line truth is that God is indeed in control. He always has been and he always will be. Another bottom line truth is that most of us know and believe that. We just cannot seem to come to the place where we are comfortable with obedience to God.

1 Peter 1:¹³ Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; ¹⁴ As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance:

We must make our minds pure by thinking on only God. We cannot have our minds corrupted by the earthly thoughts, the fleshly desires, and the sinful ideas of acquiescence to the world and its standards. We must meditate on God’s instruction, seek submission to His standards, and then we must behave accordingly.

Matters of work, marriage, parenting, and all manners of relationships, we cannot allow the trials of these relationships to cause us to turn away from God. Whether we are turning to ourselves or the assistance of worldly advice, we must remember that it is God who is the source of power; He is the source of the right answer. God is the source of the love and discipline that will bring our endurance. We must remember that it is us who departs from God; God does not depart from us.

I love Philippians 4:⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice. ⁵ Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. ⁶ Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

How we set ourselves up for failure is that we do not rejoice in the LORD always. Sometimes we think he has no idea what he is doing, and we try to do it ourselves. That is not what the LORD says. I will give one quick example. Men think they should love their wives only when the wife is submissive. The wife believes she should submit only when the husband loves her like Christ loves the church. Neither of that is true. We think these things because we put the wife and the husband first. What is true is that the husband will never be worthy of the wife’s submission, and the wife will never be worthy her husband’s love. Yet, God commands us to do both anyway. Why, because He is worthy and He knows that this is what will make a marriage work. With the divorce rate being what it is today, I am convinced that man certainly does not have the answer. Being divorced myself, I have personal knowledge and can say with great confidence that man controlling his own destiny will result in utter failure.

It takes practice! God knows I fail, and I am pretty sure that you fail too. In fact, I am pretty sure we all fail repeatedly. But get back up, remember that God is there, reset your thoughts to his power and not yours. Have a sincere heart, meaning every word of your prayer, and seeking with great desire the exclusive relationship with the Father. Let go of that rail! I love Charles Ellicott’s take on this.

“But the emphasis laid on it here, coupled with the constant references to joy in the Epistle, show that St. Paul designed to call attention to its strict meaning, and to enforce, again and again, the Christian duty of joy. It is, of course, a “joy in the Lord:” for only in the Lord is joy possible to any thoughtful mind or feeling heart in such a world as this.”

Only with the deepest and truest of relationships with God will we find that true joy that goes with us through trials. We will never be able to manage our emotions appropriately independent of God. If you depend on any other source, your power will consistently be insufficient.

If you stand in the mirror what will the reflection tell you about relationship with God, and what are you going to do about it? May the peace of God be abundantly heaped upon you and your house, straight from the cross to the Christian!