Tag: Anger

Release Your Grip on the Whip

The topic of our study is Forgiveness. One might think it a simple study, but I believe it is complex. First I wonder if we really understand what forgiveness is, biblically. I wonder if we meet the biblical thresh-hold of forgiveness. I wonder if we spend more time meeting the worldly definition of forgiveness. I don’t know, but I think a serious study of it is going to let us see for ourselves.

First let’s talk about some things that Forgiveness is not. It is NOT forgive and forget. I once heard a sermon by Dr. Voddie Baucham. He is one of my all-time favorite pastors to listen to. I never met him, but he has said in a number of his sermons that this idea of forgive and forget is a lie. He explained that the human brain is not designed to forget. So if the brain is forgetting it is malfunctioning. It has experienced some form of trauma, like Blunt force trauma or concussion, or disease like Alzheimer’s or dementia. It is unreasonable to expect the brain to forget a traumatic event when traumatic events are what burns a memory into the brain in the first place. Forgiveness is NOT an eraser. Forgiving does not erase the action. It does not say, “Okay, I forgive you so go ahead and go to sleep and when you wake up in the morning we will continue on like nothing happened.” NO!!! In most cases an action that has created some form of trauma has occurred. It happened!! There is no ignoring that. Because this is true, forgiveness is NOT absolution of accountability and immunity from consequence. I can forgive you, but there is still a consequence because the act really did happen. Biblically speaking, and we are going to look at some verses here soon, God is huge on accountability. If we are to be Christ like, how then can we say that there is no accountability? We cannot. There are consequences for our actions. Finally, forgiveness does not mean a relationship of any kind needs to continue. Now let’s be careful here. If you were violated, and you learned a lesson, and that lesson was that this is a dangerous person and for safety or health reasons and you are completely free of hate and animosity, it is appropriate to go our separate ways, no problem. But if you are violated, and you say you forgive and then not communicating with that person is out of anger or some form of punishment, then you have not truly forgiven. We will talk more about this, but for now let’s just say that you have to release your grip on the whip and hand that over to God as well if you are to truly forgive.

Now that we looked at some of the things forgiveness is not, let’s look at what it is. I really want to look at the biblical definition and compare it to what you think. In the bible forgiveness refers more to the act. When you forgive biblically, you are saying that you are overlooking an act. You are sending it away. The word forgive means we are overlooking the wrong, we are going to send the wrong away. But the other half of this is, “where are we sending it to?” To God!  There are many, and I mean many, verses that address forgiving others that you may be forgiven. But I love these verses in Colossians chapter 3 because it starts off by telling us a key point of forgiveness, and that is God’s wrath.

Colossians 3

6 For which things’ sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience:

7 In the which ye also walked some time, when ye lived in them.

8 But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.

9 Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;

10 And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him:

11 Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free: but Christ is all, and in all.

12 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;

13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

When we forgive we are recognizing that we are not in control, and God is. So we are going to send this away and put the act and the offender into the hands of God. We are taking everything out of our hands, and putting into the hands of God. Why would we want to do that? We want this for a couple reasons.

First, we want this because, as these verses indicate, we are to put off our wrath. Put it off to where, God’s hands. Our wrath is not perfect and not righteous. When someone hurts us, our wrath is more about the fact that we hurt than the actual act. This is why we can be okay with our response but someone else is like, ‘gee wiz, being a little harsh aren’t we?’ God’s wrath is perfectly just. We need to trust that, and defer to it. After all, His instruction to us is to be peaceful and leave the wrath up to Him.

Romans 12:

17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.

18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.

21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

Secondly, we want this to happen because that’s what we want others to do to us. I don’t know about you, but I make mistakes. I am human and I admit that I have hurt people before, and as uncomfortable as this may sound, it is highly likely that I will hurt people again. I pray that they forgive me and send me and my offense to God for HIS deliberation. I pray for that because I know God is just. I know that God can see into my mind (most people use the word ‘heart’ a lot but I don’t. I think it confuses people. The heart is just a muscle that pumps blood to all parts of the body. Big job, important organ. But the truth is the BRAIN is the biblical heart. It is where thoughts, all the worldly wicked thoughts of man come from. It is the hub of emotions. It is also where the transformation takes place because repentance is to have a change of MIND on sin. Another deep lesson for another day.). He knows that while I did offend, I did not do it in malice and that I do genuinely seek forgiveness, and He knows that I am a forgiving person. So I want to be judged by the judge of all judges. If I want to be forgiven, then I must forgive. People don’t know the mind of man, but God does.  There are many verses about forgiving others if you want to be forgiven. I will provide just a few.

Ephesians 4:32

32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

Matthew 6:15

15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Matthew 18:33-35

33 Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?

34 And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.

35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not everyone his brother their trespasses.

Now, I am going to step on some toes. How much more has been done to us than what this world did to Christ? I have thought that I was so violated that I was not only justified to not forgive, but to hate the offender. I was wrong. I hope that when you think of all that Jesus went through, not only in his final hours but during his years as a minister as well, you will see that your violation is small in comparison. Jesus was continuously mocked and spit on, and challenged. The man had no home; he was homeless. The savior slept on the ground and the rock was his pillow. And then yes, in the final hours he was so badly beaten and scourged that he was hardly recognizable. While on the cross, a torturous death by the way, he had a spear thrusted into his side just to see if he was still alive. And as if that was not enough, God placed the weight of all the sin in the world, all the sin that has been-is-and was yet to come, onto the body of Christ that we shall receive forgiveness. And in the course of all of this, Jesus’ prayer was that God the father forgive us because we have no clue what we were doing. This is the picture of perfect forgiveness. How much more can be done to a human being? And Christ took all the violations and put them into the hands of the father. Jesus said here, “I forgive them; I give up my right to have earthly and personal vengeance on these people. I turn them over to you. And if they can believe in you, I advocate on their behalf that you forgive them their violations against you and that you let them come home a redeemed child.”

1 Peter 2:19-21

19 For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully.

20 For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.

21 For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:

Now this is important, when we are violated and we say out loud that we just cannot forgive, what we are really saying is, “I am going through more than what Christ went through, and that because this wrong is at a magnitude never seen before, God’s wrath will not be good enough. This offender must feel my wrath. This person must not have a path to redemption; there is no forgiveness for this person. I want you to forgive me, but this person, NO FORGIVENESS! I am sorry God, but I don’t trust you to handle this to my satisfaction. I want to make sure there are no mistakes here, and that this person suffers as I have suffered and then some more. I want them to feel my pain because the pain of hell is insufficient. It’s not enough.” Now you may think that I am going a little too far with this, but I challenge you to think about it. Have you ever made a mistake, handled it maturely and begged for forgiveness and while forgiven still had to suffer consequences and maybe even long term where you wondered when will I ever be done paying for this mistake? I have and because I have I can believe very easily that God’s wrath is wholly sufficient.

In closing, forgiveness is NOT a free pass. Even the saints will meet with the LORD to discuss obedience. Remember, “EVERY KNEE WILL BOW” It only seems like bad people get away with everything. Imagine Hell, filled with those ‘bad people’. Do you still think they got away with something? This earth is not our home. It is evil and wicked. This world is not fair, and welcoming. It is not our job to give up when we get knocked down. It is our job to continue to spread the gospel, to continue to let the light of Christ shine in spite of being violated. When you don’t do that, you are suffering from idolatry. Your woes are too great to put God first, which means you must come first, right? RIGHT! Think of it this way, while you are going on about the violation, the violator is enjoying life. Sometimes forgiveness frees you from the prisons of emotions. Let’s take full advantage of God. Cast upon Him your violators and their behaviors. Forgive so you can receive forgiveness. Forgive so you can be free from the bondage of bad memories and painful emotions.

If you stand in the mirror what will the reflection tell you about yourself, and what are you going to do about it? May the peace of God be abundantly heaped upon you and your house, straight from the cross to the Christian!

There is nothing that you can do for yourself.

There is an incredible burden on my heart, one that has been even more profound these last few weeks. Daily sanctification is a journey. When we truly confess our sins, and have a genuine repenting heart, and professed that Jesus Christ is LORD, His blood cleanses the soul. After we have a soul free from the bonds of sin, then the spirit is free to dwell inside. Justification is the result of faith in and acceptance of God’s grace and mercy. Once the Spirit of the LORD dwells inside of us, we are able to have intense fellowship with God. It is a direct line to Him. We feel that correction of a loving father through the imputing of the Holy Spirit. The conviction we feel when something is wrong, or when we have offended someone comes from the Holy Spirit that dwells in us. But so does power. When we have the Holy Spirit inside of us, and we call on the Holy Spirit to take control and genuinely give up that control to the Holy Spirit we have power from God. It is important to recognize that that power is not ours. It is important to recognize and praise the source of that power. The indwelling of the Holy Spirit strengthens us as well as corrects us.

This is on my heart because of two things. The first is this. These past few weeks I have been confronted by a man. I believe he is a good man, and a hard-working man. I should know I work with. Over the past few weeks, and especially the last week, he has texted me often. He has been quoting scripture as he seeks answers for some work related issues. But this man believes that he is being wronged by administrators of our company. This man has a tendency to allow anger to overcome him. And I believe that he is using Scripture to authorize his anger and wrath. The second thing is simple. I believe I recognize this because I am guilty of the very same thing. We have been told “it takes one to know one”. Well, I believe that is true in this case. I love the word of God. I love the feeling of communication and communion with God during biblical studies, prayer, fellowship with like-minded Christians, and other situations where the presence of the Lord is genuinely felt. But in situations where things are not going well, the sinful flesh of my old self wants to take over. It is in this regard that my heart is burdened.

All of us, every self-proclaimed follower of Jesus Christ who believes that they benefit from the mercy and grace of the Almighty Father, better understand one thing. There is nothing that you can do for yourself. The Holy Scripture is meant to be our source of many things. The Scripture is our source of wisdom, of comfort, of guidance, of power, and so on. What the Bible is not, is a weapon to be used to justify our own desires. We cannot talk about putting on the full armor of God to go to battle to defend our desire of selfishness and still be in the will of God. In one of his texts, my coworker quoted the book of James. The book of James is one of my most favorite books. It should not be misconstrued as a book of works righteousness, but rather instruction on how the indwelling Holy Spirit brings about good works through you. Once again, you better understand that there is nothing that man can do for himself. My coworker specifically quoted verse 22 and 23.

James 1:22-23, “22 But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. 23 For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass:”

My coworker went on to quote a few other Scriptures. He was collecting them verse by verse from various places, trying to explain to me that the Bible says that we are to stand up and defend the faith and defend his position that he is not going to take anymore of the administrations non-sense by saying in his words, “compromising no more.” This would be a good thought if what we were talking about not compromising was faith in the word of God. My coworker is struggling with some personnel issues with administration, as well as some pay issues. In some regards I don’t think Jesus ever expected us to be pushovers. If we were to truly let all non-believers, like ISIS, just kill all of us, there would be no-one left to preach the word. But I do think that he expected us to use the spirit to help us discern between what’s right and wrong. My observation is that my coworker will take Scripture and use it to defend the execution of his wrath instead of allowing himself to be humbled by the spirit so that God’s wrath will prevail. Once again there is nothing that man can do for himself. God’s wrath will always be more righteous and more just than anything that man can come up with. I must repeat myself. I do not say this to lecture my coworker. I say this because it is a hard lesson, one that I have learned about myself over and over. I am grateful for the conviction of the spirit.

So let’s take a look at what James is saying here. It is my intention to lift up the word of God so that we can have a better understanding of what it means to be doers of the word. In order to do that, I think we have to quote more than just two versus, to keep everything in context. So let’s start and James verse 19

James 1:19-27
19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: 20 For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.
21 Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. 22 But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. 23 For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass: 24 For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was. 25 But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed. 26 If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain. 27 Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.

My study Bible the Tyndale life application study Bible has a small paragraph providing commentary on the 27th verse. That commentary, on page 1887, reads as follows,
“to keep ourselves unpolluted (“unspotted”) from the world, we need to commit ourselves to Christ’s ethical and moral system not the world’s. We are not to adapt to the world’s value system based on money, power, and pleasure. True faith means nothing if we are contaminated with such values.

I think that it is absolutely awesome that Joseph Benson makes the following commentary about “slow to speak”. When I think of my coworker and myself I think about his words here that say,

“To deliver his opinion in matters of faith, that he does not yet well understand. Persons half instructed frequently have a high opinion of their own knowledge in religious matters, are very fond of teaching others, and zealous to bring them over to their opinions.”

We have a high opinion of our own knowledge and are very fond of teaching others in order to bring them over to our opinions. Again, I have to be honest. If you cannot look at this and say, “Yep, that is me sometimes.” the let me simply say that it is most certainly me sometimes. Unfortunately, for my co-worker, I think that is so true in these text messages. I love the book of James and am very familiar with it. And when I know what my coworker is trying to accomplish; and I see the Scriptures that he’s quoting in order to accomplish it, I see these words by Joseph Benson come to life. My coworker also texted to me that brethren in the faith, “also stand up for each other when we are being wronged” I would say that I would go to war for a friend if I believe my friend was being wronged. The problem is what he believes is wrong and what I believe are wrong are two different things. And he is willing to put our spiritual relationship on a hook if I don’t stand up for him; If I don’t go to war with him over what he believes is right. The Scripture does not say anything close to that. But I must say I have shared that opinion in the past and had the audacity to be upset with a brother for not being on my side. You want to talk about guilt. Once I realized what I was doing, there was no apology big enough. But THANK GOD FOR THE BLOOD OF CHRIST that allowed a brother to forgive another brother and for one brother to learn to pay attention to his mouth more often.

I’m going to continue with more commentary by Joseph Benson, because I believe he is spot on. Continuing to refer to the rest of the verses in James 1:19-27, he writes,

“The apostle, however, may be understood as cautioning his readers against easily yielding to provocation in any respect whatever, and especially when injuriously treated by their persecutors. For the wrath of man — Even when it appears in the garb of religious zeal, worketh not — But, on the contrary, greatly obstructs, the righteousness of God — Instead of promoting the cause of true religion in the world, it is a reproach to it, and a means of exciting the prejudices of mankind against it. Persecution, in particular, the effect of the wrath of man, if violent, may make men hypocrites, by forcing them to profess what they do not believe; but it has no influence to produce that genuine faith which God accounts to men for righteousness. Nothing but rational arguments, with the illumination of the Spirit of God, can do this.”

When I read these words I cannot help but think of myself, “On more than one occasion I have represented this hypocrisy, lack of influence to produce genuine faith, and reproach in exercising my own wrath. I am certain that people have looked at me and said, “who is this man?” One minute I was talking about God and the next minute I was acting like a lunatic. I am ashamed to admit that this still happens from time to time. My daily sanctification has me working on this issue because I believe every word that Joseph Benson is saying here is truth. I believe that this is something that I clearly see in others because I am so acutely aware of its existence inside my own body. It is something that I wanted to take time to caution everyone about. We live in a day and age where people are looking at Christians and scrutinizing us with the most critical eye. We cannot afford to dampen the light of Jesus Christ, we cannot afford to contaminate the ethical and moral system of Jesus Christ with our own wrath brought about by the violation of our own morals. This whole relationship, salvation, is not about us. I say again, there is nothing that we can do for ourselves. Everything is about Jesus the Christ!

I have had many conversations with myself, the man in the mirror, and the triune God. My question to you is, “are you having these conversations yourselves?” I know many Christians, just like my coworker and I, who have used or continue to use Scripture to validate their questionable behavior. There is righteous anger. There is anger that has compassion for change in it. But if your anger leads to sin, if it produces hate in your heart or even just a little anger in your thoughts, then perhaps this conversation in the mirror is something you should take time to have sooner rather than later.

If you stand in the mirror what will the reflection tell you about yourself, and what are you going to do about it? May the peace of God be abundantly heaped upon you and your house, straight from the cross to the Christian!