Monday, September 21, 2026
Ephesians 5:22–25: 22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Verse Context
Verse Context
The Apostle Paul is speaking directly to Christian husbands and wives about the order God established within marriage. These verses do not stand alone as an isolated command for wives to submit. Paul places the responsibility of the wife and the responsibility of the husband beside one another, and both are placed within a relationship that is compared to Christ and His Church.
Paul first addresses the wife. She is told to submit herself unto “your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” The instruction is specifically concerning the relationship between a wife and her own husband. Paul then explains why: “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church.” Therefore, this passage does teach an order within Christian marriage. The husband is identified as the head, and the wife is instructed to be subject unto her husband.
However, Paul does not stop after establishing the husband’s headship. In verse 25, he turns directly to the husband and establishes the standard by which that headship must operate:
Ephesians 5:25:“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”
This is crucial to understanding the passage. Paul does not tell the husband merely that he is the head and then leave him free to determine what headship looks like. The husband’s model is Jesus Christ Himself.
Christ’s relationship with His Church therefore becomes the standard against which a Christian husband’s treatment of his wife must be examined. Jesus did not use His authority for selfish gratification. He did not exploit those under His authority. He did not establish His headship through intimidation, cruelty, humiliation, or violence. Instead, Paul directs the husband toward the sacrificial nature of Christ’s love: “and gave himself for it.”
That changes the way biblical male headship must be understood. Headship is not permission for a husband to exercise unlimited power and control over his wife. It places an enormous responsibility upon him. The man identified as the head is simultaneously commanded to pattern his treatment of his wife after the One who sacrificed Himself for those He loved.
Likewise, the wife’s command to submit cannot be separated from the husband’s command to love. A husband cannot faithfully emphasize verses 22 through 24 while ignoring verse 25. He cannot demand that his wife fulfill the responsibility God gave her while refusing to fulfill the responsibility God gave him.
This becomes especially important when Scripture is discussed in connection with domestic abuse. Nothing within Ephesians 5:22–25 gives a husband biblical permission to physically harm his wife, threaten her, terrorize her, humiliate her, degrade her, sexually coerce her, or use his position as head of the home as a means of controlling her through fear.
The standard given to the husband is not another abusive husband. It is not the culture around him. It is not his father, his pastor, or his personal understanding of what a man should be.
His standard is Jesus Christ.
Therefore, before a Christian husband uses this passage to ask whether his wife is properly submitting to him, he must also be willing to place himself beneath the examination of the very same passage and ask:
Am I loving my wife as Christ loved the Church?
That is the question with which biblical male headship must begin.
Broader Context
To understand the weight of Paul’s instructions in Ephesians 5:22–25, we need to step outside the immediate verses and look at the world in which the Ephesian believers lived. Ephesus was part of the Roman Empire, and the first-century Greco-Roman household was strongly hierarchical. Ancient discussions of household order commonly dealt with three relationships: husband and wife, parent and child, and master and slave. Paul addresses those same three relationships beginning in Ephesians 5 and continuing into Ephesians 6. Historical scholarship therefore commonly describes this portion of Ephesians as a Christian “household code.”
That historical setting matters. Paul was writing to people living in a society where the male head of a household ordinarily possessed substantial social and legal authority. We should therefore be careful about imagining that Paul’s original readers lived in a society resembling a modern American marriage. They did not. The Roman world was highly stratified, and submission to those occupying positions of authority was an ordinary feature of social and household life.
But Paul does something important with that existing household structure: he places the Christian household under the authority of Jesus Christ. The husband may be the head of the wife, but the husband himself is not the highest authority. He remains accountable to God.
We can see this larger principle elsewhere in the same section of Ephesians. When Paul eventually addresses masters—another group possessing considerable household authority in the Roman world—he reminds them that earthly authority does not make them supreme.
Ephesians 6:9 (KJV) “And, ye masters, do the same things unto them, forbearing threatening: knowing that your Master also is in heaven; neither is there respect of persons with him.”
This verse is not specifically a marriage command, and we should not pretend that it is. However, it reveals an important principle within Paul’s larger household teaching: possessing earthly authority does not remove a Christian from God’s authority. The person who has authority is himself under authority.
That principle is essential when discussing biblical male headship. A husband does not become the ultimate authority simply because Scripture identifies him as the head of his wife. His headship exists beneath the lordship of Jesus Christ.
Paul establishes that larger order explicitly elsewhere.
1 Corinthians 11:3 (KJV): “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.”
Notice that the man does not stand at the top of that order. Scripture identifies the man as the head of the woman, but it immediately identifies Christ as “the head of every man.” Therefore, biblical male headship carries accountability. A husband cannot legitimately appeal to the authority God has placed beneath him while disregarding the authority God has placed above him.
This becomes especially important when we return to the command that husbands love their wives. Paul gives a similar command to the church at Colosse.
Colossians 3:18–19 (KJV): “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.”
Once again, Scripture presents both responsibilities. The wife is instructed to submit to her husband, but the husband is simultaneously commanded to love his wife and “be not bitter against” her.
The language of headship, therefore, cannot honestly be isolated from the Bible’s commands concerning the husband’s behavior toward the woman he leads.
Peter goes even further by connecting the husband’s treatment of his wife with his own relationship with God.
1 Peter 3:7 (KJV): “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”
This is significant. Scripture does not describe the wife as someone whom the husband is free to demean because he occupies the position of headship. Peter commands the husband to give his wife honour. He also warns the husband that his conduct toward his wife can have spiritual consequences: his prayers can be hindered.
That provides an important biblical safeguard against turning headship into domination. The wife has responsibilities before God. The husband has responsibilities before God. And neither spouse’s responsibility cancels the other’s.
The broader biblical picture also shows that marriage did not originate in Roman culture or with Paul. Paul is applying something much older. Marriage goes back to creation itself.
Genesis 2:23–24 (KJV): “And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
The wife is not presented as a disposable possession. She is joined to her husband so intimately that Scripture describes the two as “one flesh.”
Jesus Christ Himself later reaffirmed that creation ordinance.
Matthew 19:4–6 (KJV): “And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
This brings us back to why Paul’s instructions to husbands are so significant. The woman a husband is commanded to love is not merely someone living under his authority. According to God’s design for marriage, she has become one flesh with him.
Paul develops precisely that point later in Ephesians 5.
Ephesians 5:28–29 (KJV): “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:”
Here the biblical picture becomes even clearer. The husband’s responsibility toward his wife is described with the words “nourisheth” and “cherisheth.” His headship does not release him from tenderness, care, protection, honour, or sacrificial love. Those qualities are part of understanding what Scripture expects from him.
This is where the historical background and the larger biblical context meet.
Paul was writing within a culture already familiar with male household authority. He did not need to invent the concept of a male household head for his first-century readers. What distinguishes his Christian instruction is the standard under which that man must now live: Jesus Christ. The husband is commanded to love sacrificially, to regard his wife as his own flesh, to nourish and cherish her, and elsewhere Scripture commands him to give her honour and not be bitter against her.
That makes it very difficult to reconcile biblical male headship with domestic abuse. A man may claim authority. He may call himself the head of his household. He may demand submission. But Scripture does not permit us to evaluate biblical headship merely by asking whether the husband occupies the position of head. We must also ask whether he is behaving according to the responsibilities God attached to that position. The biblical husband is himself a man under authority—the authority of Jesus Christ. And the Christ whom he is commanded to imitate gave Himself for the Church rather than using the Church for Himself.
Application
Appreciating God’s Greatness
God’s greatness can be seen in the wisdom of His design for marriage. God did not establish marriage without providing direction for how a husband and wife should treat one another. He created an order within marriage, but He did not design that order so that one person could selfishly use, mistreat, intimidate, or abuse the other. Instead, God placed the husband under an extraordinary standard: Jesus Christ Himself.
Ephesians 5:25 (KJV): “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”
Consider the greatness of that design. God could have simply commanded husbands to be good to their wives. Instead, He gave them the greatest example of sacrificial love the world has ever known. The husband is commanded to look at Jesus Christ and learn from Him how to love the woman God has joined to him.
God also demonstrates His wisdom by describing husband and wife as one flesh.
Genesis 2:24 (KJV): “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
God designed marriage so that a husband cannot rightly view his wife’s welfare as separate from his own. Her well-being matters. Her safety matters. Her dignity matters. Her spiritual well-being matters. God’s design calls the husband to recognize that the woman beside him is joined to him in a relationship established by God.
That truth is repeated in Paul’s teaching.
Ephesians 5:28–29 (KJV): “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:”
God does not command the husband to dominate what has become one flesh with him. He commands him to nourish and cherish his wife. God’s greatness is revealed in a design in which authority carries responsibility, headship carries accountability, and love is measured against the sacrificial love of Jesus Christ.
For the Believer
For the Christian husband, this passage requires honest self-examination. It is easy to ask whether a wife is submitting properly. It is much harder for a husband to stand before God and ask whether he is loving properly. Scripture gives the husband no permission to emphasize his wife’s responsibility while minimizing his own. His responsibility is not merely to provide an income, make decisions, or identify himself as the spiritual head of his home. He is commanded to love his wife according to the example of Jesus Christ.
That means the Christian husband must examine not only what he does, but how he treats his wife while doing it. Scripture is direct:
Colossians 3:19 (KJV): “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.”
Bitterness, contempt, humiliation, intimidation, threats, excessive control, and violence cannot simply be renamed “headship.” Calling sinful behavior biblical leadership does not make it biblical. The Christian husband is also commanded to honour his wife.
1 Peter 3:7 (KJV): “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”
A man should notice the seriousness of those final words. God cares so deeply about how a husband treats his wife that Peter warns husbands that their conduct toward their wives can affect their own prayer lives.
The Christian wife also needs to understand what Scripture actually says. Biblical submission is real, and Ephesians 5 does teach the headship of the husband. But submission does not make sinful behavior righteous. A husband’s position does not transform cruelty into leadership, intimidation into authority, or violence into discipline. Every Christian remains ultimately accountable to God.
Acts 5:29 (KJV): “Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men.”
No human authority replaces God’s authority. Marriage does not place either spouse beyond God’s commands. Therefore, Christian marriage should never become a struggle over who possesses the most power. Husband and wife should desire a marriage in which God’s order is respected and God’s character is reflected. The husband should lead with the understanding that he will answer to Christ for how he exercises that responsibility, and the wife should be able to recognize in her husband’s leadership the love, care, sacrifice, and faithfulness Scripture requires of him.
A Call to Action for the Believer
Christian husbands, examine yourselves honestly. Do not begin by examining your wife. Begin with yourself. Ask whether your words nourish or wound. Ask whether your behavior produces security or fear. Ask whether you listen to your wife or merely issue decisions. Ask whether you honour her opinions even when you disagree. Ask whether you use Scripture to lead your family toward Christ or as a weapon for getting your own way. Most importantly, compare your behavior with the standard God actually gave you.
Ephesians 5:25 (KJV): “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”
If your treatment of your wife includes intimidation, humiliation, manipulation, threats, coercion, physical violence, or other abusive behavior, do not defend it by appealing to headship. Repent of it. Scripture tells believers what genuine repentance should produce.
Matthew 3:8 (KJV): “Bring forth therefore fruits meet for repentance:”
Repentance is more than saying that you are sorry after an abusive incident and then repeating the same behavior. Genuine repentance should produce change.
For the Christian wife who is being abused, do not confuse another person’s sinful behavior with God’s will for your life. Being commanded to submit to your husband does not mean that God commands you to pretend evil is good or to hide serious wrongdoing so that an abuser can continue harming you.
And for every believer reading this, do not use Scripture to excuse what Scripture condemns. If you have used biblical headship to justify selfishness, repent. If you have encouraged an abused person to remain silent simply because she is a wife, reconsider whether you have confused submission with permission to sin against her. Bring your understanding of marriage back underneath the complete teaching of God’s Word.
For the Unbeliever
Perhaps you do not consider yourself a Christian, but you have seen marriages in which someone claimed Christianity while behaving in ways that were controlling, degrading, frightening, or abusive. Do not confuse someone’s misuse of the Bible with what the Bible actually teaches. The Jesus Christ presented in Scripture does not provide an example of selfish power. He provides an example of sacrificial love.
Romans 5:8 (KJV): “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
That is the Christ Christian husbands are commanded to imitate.
But His sacrificial love reaches far beyond marriage. Jesus Christ did not merely provide Christians with an example of how to treat other people. He gave Himself for sinners. The Gospel begins with the reality that every one of us has sinned.
Romans 3:23 (KJV): “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;”
Yet God did not leave mankind without hope.
John 3:16 (KJV): “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
The same sacrificial love we have examined in this study points directly toward the cross. Jesus Christ gave Himself so that sinners could be forgiven and reconciled to God. If you do not yet know Christ, do not stop with what the Bible teaches about marriage. Continue reading. Continue asking questions. Look carefully at the Jesus Christ whom Scripture reveals. The greatest truth in this lesson is not simply that a husband should love his wife. It is that Jesus Christ loved us enough to give Himself for us.
Final Encouragement
There is great joy in a marriage where both husband and wife seek to honor God and follow His Word. No marriage will be perfect, but every day provides another opportunity to love better, forgive more freely, grow closer to Christ, and walk together toward the finish line. Husband and wife, keep pressing forward, keep encouraging one another, and keep Christ at the center of your home. If you have fallen short, repent, get back up, and continue toward the foot of the cross. And if you do not yet know Jesus Christ as your Saviour, keep seeking Him, keep reading His Word, and keep moving toward the One who loved you enough to give Himself for you. There is hope, forgiveness, restoration, and everlasting life in Jesus Christ.
Our Prayer for You
Heavenly Father, we come before You acknowledging that marriage was Your beautiful creation from the very beginning, yet we confess that we have often taken what You designed for love, companionship, faithfulness, and godly order and twisted it through our sin into something selfish, broken, painful, and sometimes even violent. Forgive us, Lord, for the ways we have dishonored marriage, misused Your Word, distorted the roles You gave husbands and wives, and used what You intended for good to hurt one another. We ask You to place Your mighty hand upon marriages today. Restore what sin has broken, soften hardened hearts, heal those who have been wounded, and teach husbands and wives again to love and honor one another according to Your Word. As someone reads these words today or even years from now, may Your Holy Spirit speak directly to that heart. Where there is sin, bring repentance; where there is hurt, bring healing; where there is bitterness, bring forgiveness; and where a marriage seems beyond hope, remind them that nothing is beyond Your reach. Bring husbands and wives closer to You and, in drawing closer to You, draw them closer to one another. May our homes once again reflect the beauty You intended when You first declared that the two should become one flesh. In the precious name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Closing
If you’ve found these daily verses encouraging, enlightening, or fruitful, please consider helping us spread the truth and light of God’s Word by subscribing to the blog and YouTube channels and liking and following the Facebook page. Most of all, share Believers of Biblical Truth and our links with others who may need the sermons and daily teachings just as much as we do.
You are loved, so much in fact, that we want you to know and be Believers of Biblical Truth.
Shalom Shalom.
Believers of Biblical Truth 