TODAY’S DAILY BIBLE STUDY: Is Telling the Truth Hate?

Wednesday, September 30, 2026

Ezekiel 33:3–11 (KJV)- “11 Say unto them, As I live, saith the Lord GOD, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked turn from his way and live: turn ye, turn ye from your evil ways; for why will ye die, O house of Israel?”

WHY THIS STUDY TODAY

Recently, a man stood publicly holding a large sign warning people about sin and its eternal consequences. His message specifically addressed gay pride, with the word “pride” displayed in rainbow colors, making his reference unmistakable. His message was that celebrating and continuing in conduct that the Bible identifies as sinful places a person in spiritual danger and that sin ultimately leads to judgment if a person refuses to turn to God.

The response from many people was immediate. He was accused of spreading hate. His message was described as “hate speech.” Others accused him of judging people and condemning them to hell. Some responded with the familiar slogan, “Love is love,” and argued that warning people about homosexuality or its eternal consequences is incompatible with loving them. Particularly concerning is that these arguments do not come only from people who reject Christianity. Some people who identify themselves as Christians make the same arguments.

That raises several questions Christians cannot answer merely according to personal feelings, political opinions, cultural attitudes, or popular slogans. So the biggest question void of all of those is, “What does the Bible say?”

There is an important distinction between passing our own judgment upon another person and warning another person about a judgment God has already revealed in His Word. The man holding the sign does not possess the authority to send anyone to hell. Neither does a preacher standing behind a pulpit, a Christian sharing the Gospel, or the person writing this Bible study. Eternal judgment belongs to God.

But does that mean Christians must remain silent about God’s judgment? If a Christian accurately tells another person what Scripture says about sin and judgment, the Christian has not thereby become the Judge. The Christian is pointing to the warning of the Judge. That distinction matters. Calling the messenger judgmental can shift attention away from the message itself. Once the discussion becomes primarily about whether the messenger is hateful, judgmental, intolerant, or offensive, the much more important question can disappear: Is the warning true? That is the question we must answer.

If the warning is genuinely what God has revealed in Scripture, then faithfully sharing it can require both love and courage. It is relatively easy to tell people what they want to hear. It can be considerably harder to tell someone something that may anger them, offend them, or cause them to reject us. Biblical love cannot mean simply affirming whatever another person desires. If God has warned that a particular course leads toward destruction, love cannot require Christians to hide that warning.

This study is, therefore, not about attacking homosexual people. Christians have no biblical permission to mistreat, ridicule, threaten, or hate them. Nor is homosexuality the only sin condemned by Scripture. Every human being is a sinner in need of the saving grace of Jesus Christ. Homosexuality is specifically before us today because it was the subject of the public warning that prompted this study and because our society increasingly celebrates what Scripture identifies as sinful. But the principle we are examining applies to all sin.

A heterosexual adulterer cannot escape God’s Word by accusing the Christian who quotes it of judging him. A drunkard cannot change God’s standard by calling the messenger hateful. A thief cannot make theft righteous by being offended that someone called it sin. And a person practicing homosexuality cannot settle the biblical question merely by accusing the person delivering the warning of hatred. In every case, the messenger must be tested against Scripture. If the messenger has misrepresented God’s Word, then the messenger should be corrected. But if the message faithfully communicates what God has actually said, rejecting the messenger does not change the message. That is why we are doing this study.

We are going to open the Bible and examine what God says about truth, love, judgment, sin, repentance, courage, and salvation. We are going to ask whether speaking biblical truth constitutes hatred, whether warning someone of God’s judgment constitutes judging them ourselves, and whether genuine Christian love sometimes requires enough courage to say something the world does not want to hear.

The Christian is not the Judge. The Christian is not the one who condemns a soul to hell. But if God has given humanity a warning, loving our neighbor cannot mean pretending that warning does not exist.

Verse Context

Our cornerstone verse comes from God’s instructions to the prophet Ezekiel. To understand the tremendous statement God makes in Ezekiel 33:11, we need to understand what immediately precedes it. God begins with an illustration that the people would easily understand: a watchman standing guard over a city.

Ezekiel 33:3–6 (KJV)- “If when he seeth the sword come upon the land, he blow the trumpet, and warn the people; then whosoever heareth the sound of the trumpet, and taketh not warning; if the sword come, and take him away, his blood shall be upon his own head. He heard the sound of the trumpet and took no warning; his blood shall be upon him. But he that taketh warning shall deliver his soul. But if the watchman see the sword come, and blow not the trumpet, and the people be not warned; if the sword come, and take any person from among them, he is taken away in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at the watchman’s hand.”

The watchman’s responsibility was not to create the danger. He did not send the approaching sword. He did not decide whether the danger was real. His responsibility was to recognize the danger and sound the warning. If he sounded the trumpet and the people refused to listen, the watchman had fulfilled his responsibility. But if he saw danger approaching and remained silent, God held him responsible for failing to warn them. Then God explains the spiritual meaning of the illustration.

Ezekiel 33:7–9 (KJV)- “So thou, O son of man, I have set thee a watchman unto the house of Israel; therefore thou shalt hear the word at my mouth, and warn them from me. When I say unto the wicked, O wicked man, thou shalt surely die; if thou dost not speak to warn the wicked from his way, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at thine hand. Nevertheless, if thou warn the wicked of his way to turn from it; if he do not turn from his way, he shall die in his iniquity; but thou hast delivered thy soul.”

God appointed Ezekiel as the watchman “unto the house of Israel.” We should respect that historical context. This was a specific commission given by God to Ezekiel concerning Israel. Christians today should not simply claim Ezekiel’s prophetic office for themselves. But there is something here that is essential to understanding verse 11. God tells Ezekiel: “thou shalt hear the word at my mouth, and warn them from me.” The warning originated with God. Ezekiel did not invent the standard. Ezekiel did not determine what was wicked. Ezekiel did not decide the punishment. And Ezekiel did not have the power to make the judgment happen. His responsibility was to communicate faithfully what God had already said. Then Israel responds to the seriousness of its sin.

Ezekiel 33:10 (KJV)- “Therefore, O thou son of man, speak unto the house of Israel; Thus ye speak, saying, If our transgressions and our sins be upon us, and we pine away in them, how should we then live?”

The people recognize the weight of their transgressions and ask a desperate question: How can we live? And now we arrive at our cornerstone verse. God’s answer reveals something enormously important about why He sends the warning in the first place.

Ezekiel 33:11 (KJV)- “Say unto them, As I live, saith the Lord GOD, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked turn from his way and live: turn ye, turn ye from your evil ways; for why will ye die, O house of Israel?”

God does not say that He delights in watching wicked people perish. He says exactly the opposite. He has “no pleasure in the death of the wicked.” The warning therefore has a purpose: “that the wicked turn from his way and live.” God is calling them to repentance. The Hebrew idea behind “turn” is especially important. The word is shuv (שׁוּב, pronounced SHOOV), meaning to turn, return, or turn back. It is one of the important Old Testament words used to describe turning away from sin and returning toward God. And notice the urgency: “turn ye, turn ye from your evil ways.” God does not redefine their evil ways so that they can comfortably remain in them. He calls them to turn from them. Yet the purpose of that call is not difficult to see. God wants them to live. That is the heart of Ezekiel 33:11.

Now we can carefully compare the passage with the event that prompted this study. The man holding the sign was accused of hatred and of judging other people because he publicly warned about sin and its eternal consequences. Ezekiel 33 teaches us that we must distinguish between the person delivering a warning and the authority who established the warning. Ezekiel was not Israel’s ultimate Judge. He was the messenger. Likewise, a Christian today does not possess the authority to determine who goes to hell. We cannot create God’s moral standards, pronounce eternal sentences according to our personal preferences, or condemn people simply because we disapprove of them.

But that does not answer the question of whether Christians should communicate warnings that God has already given. That requires us to determine whether the warning actually comes from Scripture. And Ezekiel 33:11 gives us something else that directly challenges the claim that every warning about sin must be motivated by hatred. God’s warning and God’s desire for the sinner to live exist in the very same verse. That is enormously important. Warning someone about sin is not automatically evidence that we hate that person. In this passage, God warns precisely because He is calling sinful people away from destruction. But there is also a serious responsibility placed upon anyone claiming to deliver God’s warning: we must be certain that what we are calling sin is actually something God calls sin.

We cannot substitute prejudice for Scripture. We cannot substitute personal opinion for Scripture. We cannot substitute cultural tradition for Scripture. And neither can we substitute modern cultural acceptance for Scripture. So before we can determine whether the man holding the sign was faithfully sounding a biblical warning, we must move into the Broader Context and ask what the rest of Scripture actually says.

Does God’s Word identify homosexual conduct as sin? Does Scripture teach that sin has eternal consequences? Does Scripture distinguish between warning someone of God’s judgment and personally condemning them? Does the New Testament command Christians to speak God’s truth even when that truth is unpopular? And most importantly, does the Gospel offer the sinner a way to turn and live?

Only Scripture can answer those questions.

BROADER CONTEXT

Who Determines What Is True?

Before we can decide whether the man holding the sign was speaking truth or spreading hate, we have to answer a more fundamental question: Who determines what is true?

If truth is determined by culture, then truth can change whenever culture changes. If truth is determined by individual feelings, then one person’s truth can contradict another person’s truth. If truth is determined by the Christian holding the sign, then his opinion possesses no greater authority simply because he claims to speak for God.

Jesus gives us the standard in John 17:17 (KJV)- “Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.”

A Quick KJV Word Note — “Thy”

The word “thy” simply means “your.” In the King James Bible, thy is a singular possessive form of thou—it refers to something belonging to the one person being addressed.

Here, Jesus is praying to the Father. Therefore, when Jesus says “thy truth” and “thy word,” He means the Father’s truth and the Father’s word. Read in today’s English, the meaning is straightforward: God’s truth; God’s Word.

This is one reason readers should not be intimidated by words such as thee, thou, and thy in the King James Bible. They are not mysterious theological words. They are older English pronouns that can actually communicate distinctions that modern English often does not. And once we understand “thy,” the authority behind this verse becomes unmistakable. Jesus does not tell us that popular opinion is truth, that personal feelings are truth, or even that the Christian’s opinion is truth. The standard is not the man. The standard is not the crowd opposing him. The standard is not church denomination, political movement, social-media campaign, or popular slogan. God’s Word is truth.

Therefore, Christians have no authority to manufacture sins that God has not called sin. But neither do Christians have authority to declare acceptable something God has called sin. Our responsibility is to submit ourselves to what God has revealed. That means the accusation of hate cannot settle the question before us. Neither can the man’s assertion that he is speaking for God. His message must be tested against Scripture.

So let us test it.

Does the Bible Actually Identify Homosexual Conduct as Sin?

Because homosexuality prompted this particular study, we should address it directly rather than hide behind general statements about sin.

Paul writes: Romans 1:24–27 (KJV)- “Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves: Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.”

Whatever modern culture may believe about homosexuality, we cannot honestly read this passage and conclude that Paul presents same-sex sexual conduct as morally acceptable. He does not. Paul addresses the subject again when writing to the Corinthians.

1 Corinthians 6:9–11 (KJV)- “Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.”

Notice what Scripture does—and what it does not do.

Homosexual conduct is included among behaviors associated with unrighteousness. Therefore, a Christian cannot faithfully teach that Scripture approves of homosexual sexual relationships. But notice something equally important: homosexuality is not standing alone in Paul’s list. Fornication is there. Idolatry is there. Adultery is there. Theft is there. Covetousness is there. Drunkenness is there. Reviling is there. Extortion is there. This study was prompted by the public celebration of homosexuality, so we are addressing homosexuality directly. But biblical integrity requires us to apply God’s standard consistently. We cannot condemn the sins celebrated by somebody else while excusing the sins we have decided to tolerate in ourselves. And verse 11 prevents this passage from becoming merely a weapon of condemnation.

Paul is writing to Christians and tells them that some of them had previously lived in the very sins he had just identified. Their former sin was not the end of their story. They had been washed. They had been sanctified. They had been justified in the name of Jesus Christ. That is already showing us something about the purpose of biblical confrontation with sin. Christianity does not merely announce what a person is doing wrong. The Gospel announces what Jesus Christ can do for the sinner.

The Larger Problem Is Unrepentant Sin

Now we must widen the lens. The eternal warning of Scripture is not reserved for homosexuals. The fundamental human problem is sin.

Romans 3:23 (KJV)- “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;”

The word “all” leaves none of us standing outside the problem. The man holding the sign needs a Savior. The homosexual needs a Savior. The adulterer needs a Savior. The drunkard needs a Savior. The person shouting accusations at the man holding the sign needs a Savior. The person writing this study needs a Savior. We all do. And Scripture tells us why sin is so serious.

Romans 6:23 (KJV)- “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

Notice that Paul does not leave us with death. The verse contains both the warning and the rescue. Sin pays wages: death. God offers a gift: eternal life through Jesus Christ. Therefore, the Christian message concerning sin should never stop with condemnation. If we warn people about sin but never tell them about the Savior, we have left out the glorious heart of the Gospel. But neither can we proclaim the Savior while refusing to tell people why they need saving.

Struggling With Sin Is Not the Same as Making Peace With Sin

This distinction is important. Christianity does not teach that a person becomes instantly incapable of temptation or failure after coming to Christ. Christians still battle the flesh. Paul describes that conflict:

Galatians 5:16–17 (KJV)- “This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.”

There is a difference between fighting sin and declaring that our sin is no longer sin. A believer may stumble. A believer may experience powerful temptation. A believer may have to fight the same temptation repeatedly. The existence of that struggle does not mean that God has changed His definition of righteousness. The dangerous step occurs when instead of bringing our desires under the authority of God’s Word, we attempt to bring God’s Word under the authority of our desires. This principle applies equally to every sin. The adulterer cannot redefine adultery because he sincerely loves the person with whom he is committing adultery. The covetous person cannot redefine greed because possessions make him happy. The drunkard cannot declare drunkenness righteous because alcohol brings him pleasure. Likewise, sincere affection does not possess the authority to redefine what God has revealed concerning sexual morality. This is where the popular expression “love is love” fails as a biblical moral standard. Human affection may be genuine, powerful, and deeply felt, but human affection does not determine righteousness. God does.

Who Is Actually Doing the Judging?

Now we can return directly to another accusation made against the man holding the sign: “Who are you to judge?”

There is an important question hidden inside that accusation. If the man were inventing his own standard and declaring people condemned according to his personal preferences, then the criticism would have considerable force. Human beings do not possess the authority to determine another person’s eternal destiny. Jesus Christ is the Judge.

John 5:22 (KJV)- “For the Father judgeth no man, but hath committed all judgment unto the Son:”

Therefore, the Christian holding the sign does not send anyone to hell. The preacher does not send anyone to hell. The Christian witnessing to a neighbor does not send anyone to hell. But Scripture makes another distinction that our culture frequently overlooks: Warning someone about God’s judgment is not the same thing as becoming the Judge. God demonstrated this principle dramatically through Ezekiel.

Ezekiel 33:7–9 (KJV)- “So thou, O son of man, I have set thee a watchman unto the house of Israel; therefore thou shalt hear the word at my mouth, and warn them from me. When I say unto the wicked, O wicked man, thou shalt surely die; if thou dost not speak to warn the wicked from his way, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at thine hand. Nevertheless, if thou warn the wicked of his way to turn from it; if he do not turn from his way, he shall die in his iniquity; but thou hast delivered thy soul.”

Quick KJV Word Help:

Thou means you (as the subject), thee means you (as the object), and thy/thine mean your/yours; these forms normally address one person. Hast simply means have, as in “thou hast” = “you have.”

We must respect the historical context. God specifically appointed Ezekiel as a watchman to Israel. This passage is not declaring that every Christian possesses Ezekiel’s prophetic office. But look at the principle God reveals. God gives the warning. The watchman delivers the warning. The watchman does not create the judgment. That distinction speaks directly to the issue before us. If the message on a Christian’s sign contradicts Scripture, we should reject the message. If the Christian twists Scripture to condemn something God has not condemned, we should correct him. But if Scripture actually gives the warning, pointing someone toward that warning does not make the Christian the author of the judgment. The messenger is not the Judge. And the very next verses reveal God’s heart behind the warning.

Ezekiel 33:10–11 (KJV)- “Therefore, O thou son of man, speak unto the house of Israel; Thus ye speak, saying, If our transgressions and our sins be upon us, and we pine away in them, how should we then live? Say unto them, As I live, saith the Lord GOD, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked turn from his way and live: turn ye, turn ye from your evil ways; for why will ye die, O house of Israel?”

Quick KJV Word Help: Thus ye means this is what you say/do, pine means waste away or suffer under distress, saith means says, turn ye means you turn/turn yourselves, and ye die means you die.

This changes the way we should think about biblical warnings. God does not present the warning here because He delights in destruction. God says: “turn ye, turn ye from your evil ways.” Why? Because He desires that the wicked “turn from his way and live.” The warning is therefore not evidence that God hates the sinner. The warning itself demonstrates that God is calling the sinner to turn.

Sometimes Love Must Warn

Now we can return to our cornerstone verse with considerably more biblical context behind it.

Ephesians 4:15 (KJV)- “But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:”

Love and truth are not competing Christian virtues. If someone were walking unknowingly toward physical danger, warning him would not normally be considered hateful. The warning might frighten him. It might interrupt what he wanted to do. He might even resent being told to stop. But if the danger were real, remaining silent merely to avoid upsetting him would not necessarily be loving. Scripture gives us an even stronger picture.

Proverbs 27:5–6 (KJV)- “Open rebuke is better than secret love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”

Biblical love sometimes says something difficult. That does not justify cruelty. It does not justify insults. It does not justify humiliating people, threatening them, or taking pleasure in their condemnation. But neither does biblical love require silence when God has spoken. Sometimes the person willing to tell us what we desperately do not want to hear is demonstrating greater love than the person willing to tell us whatever makes us comfortable.

Telling the Truth Can Require Courage

There is another part of the present-day example that deserves consideration. It takes very little courage to repeat something everyone around us already applauds. Speaking God’s truth becomes considerably more difficult when that truth is unpopular. The apostles encountered authorities who wanted them to stop publicly proclaiming Christ.

Acts 4:18–20 (KJV)- “And they called them, and commanded them not to speak at all nor teach in the name of Jesus. But Peter and John answered and said unto them, Whether it be right in the sight of God to hearken unto you more than unto God, judge ye. For we cannot but speak the things which we have seen and heard.”

Again, the immediate subject is the apostles’ proclamation of Jesus Christ, not homosexuality. We should not pretend otherwise. But the principle concerning Christian courage is clear: the reaction of the surrounding culture does not determine whether God’s truth should be spoken. That brings us back to the man standing publicly with his sign. People may ridicule him. People may call him judgmental. People may accuse him of hatred. None of those reactions proves that his message is true. But neither do those reactions prove that his message is false. The question remains the same: Does what he is saying agree with what God has said? Where it does, courage may require speaking even when speaking carries a social cost.

The Warning Must Lead to the Gospel

Finally, we must never allow the warning to become the destination. The destination is Jesus Christ. Jesus did not come merely to announce condemnation to an already fallen world.

John 3:16–17 (KJV)- “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.”

And Scripture immediately explains why salvation is necessary.

John 3:18–19 (KJV)- “He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.”

There is both love and warning in the same Gospel. God loved. God gave His Son. Christ saves. Sin remains serious. Judgment remains real. Human beings are called out of darkness and toward the Light. That means the most loving Christian message cannot simply be, “God condemns your sin.” But neither can it honestly be, “Continue as you are; God does not care.” The biblical message is far greater: God has told us the truth about our sin because He loves us. God has warned us of judgment because judgment is real. And God has provided Jesus Christ because He desires to save sinners.

The Christian does not have the authority to remove the warning. The Christian does not have the authority to change God’s definition of sin. And the Christian certainly does not have the authority to decide who is beyond God’s grace. Our responsibility is to tell the truth, tell it in love, and point sinners—not merely homosexual sinners, but all sinners—to Jesus Christ. That is not a message of hatred. It is the message of a God who warns sinners of where sin leads while still calling them to turn, come to Christ, and live.

APPLICATION

Appreciating God’s Greatness

One of the most remarkable truths revealed in Ezekiel 33:11 is that God’s holiness and His mercy are not in conflict. God does not lower His standard of righteousness in order to demonstrate love, nor does His judgment of sin mean that He lacks compassion for the sinner. He remains perfectly holy while calling sinful people to turn from the very conduct that separates them from Him.

Ezekiel 33:11 (KJV)- “Say unto them, As I live, saith the Lord GOD, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked turn from his way and live: turn ye, turn ye from your evil ways; for why will ye die, O house of Israel?”

Look carefully at what God does in this verse. He calls their ways evil, warns them that those ways lead to death, commands them to turn, and expresses His desire that they live. Biblical love, therefore, does not require God to pretend that evil is good. His love is demonstrated in part by the fact that He tells sinners the truth and calls them away from destruction.

The same character of God is revealed in the New Testament. God does not delight in the destruction of sinners; He has acted at tremendous cost to provide salvation for them.

Romans 5:8 (KJV)- “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

Notice that God’s love did not require Him to stop calling us sinners. Instead, His love provided the remedy for our sin. The greatness of God is seen not in overlooking sin, redefining sin, or pretending that judgment does not exist, but in providing Jesus Christ for people who could never save themselves. The God who says, “turn ye, turn ye from your evil ways,” is the same God who sent His Son to die for sinners.

For the Believer

The believer must resist two opposite errors. The first is speaking about sin without love, compassion, humility, or any apparent desire to see the sinner saved. The second is becoming so afraid of being called hateful or judgmental that we refuse to tell people what God’s Word actually says. Neither approach represents the whole counsel of Scripture. Paul gives us the proper balance.

Ephesians 4:15 (KJV)- “But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:”

Truth and love are not enemies. Biblical love does not require silence about sin, and biblical truth does not give us permission to be cruel. If Scripture identifies homosexual conduct as sin, the believer should not deny that truth simply because the culture considers the teaching offensive. At the same time, the person engaged in homosexual conduct is not someone Christians have permission to ridicule, mistreat, threaten, or hate. That person is a human being for whom Christ died and to whom the Gospel should be offered.

The believer must also remember that homosexuality is not the only sin Scripture condemns. We have no biblical basis for pointing angrily at one group of sinners while excusing adultery, fornication, drunkenness, greed, dishonesty, hatred, or our own sins. Paul deliberately places many different sins together when warning the Corinthians.

1 Corinthians 6:9–11 (KJV)- “Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.”

Those final words are essential. “And such were some of you.” The Christian message is not that certain sinners are uniquely disgusting or beyond redemption. The message is that sinners can be washed, sanctified, and justified through Jesus Christ. That is why our warning must always leave room for the Gospel.

A Call to Action for the Believer

Before speaking about another person’s sin, ask yourself two questions: Is what I am about to say actually supported by God’s Word, and am I saying it because I genuinely desire that person’s spiritual good? We should never call something sinful merely because we dislike it, and we should never use Scripture as a weapon for humiliating someone. However, once God has clearly spoken, fear of criticism must not persuade us to change His message.

Paul reminded Timothy that faithfulness to Scripture would sometimes require correction and rebuke, but he also told him how that work was to be done.

2 Timothy 4:2–4 (KJV)- “Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.”

Notice the combination: reprove, rebuke, exhort, but do it “with all longsuffering and doctrine.” The believer is not commanded merely to win arguments. We are to remain faithful to God’s Word while patiently seeking the spiritual good of the person hearing it.

That means we should examine our own conduct as carefully as we examine our message. If we speak about homosexuality, adultery, drunkenness, fornication, greed, or any other sin, our purpose should never be to demonstrate our superiority. We are sinners who have needed God’s mercy ourselves. Our objective is to point another sinner toward the same Savior who rescued us.

When the culture says that biblical truth is hateful, do not respond with hatred. When someone calls you judgmental, do not become arrogant or defensive. Open the Bible, examine what God has actually said, and speak that truth faithfully, humbly, courageously, and lovingly. The goal is not merely to tell someone that his way is wrong. The goal reflected in Ezekiel 33:11 is that the sinner might turn and live.

For the Unbeliever

If you are reading this as someone who does not follow Jesus Christ, please understand what this study is not saying. Christianity does not teach that homosexual people are the only sinners standing under God’s judgment while Christians stand safely on the other side because they are better people. Scripture says something far more sweeping.

Romans 3:23 (KJV)- “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;”

That includes homosexuals and heterosexuals, religious people and irreligious people, the person holding the sign and the people criticizing him. Every one of us has violated God’s standard and needs His mercy.

The question, therefore, is not whether your sins are worse than someone else’s. The question is what you will do with the truth God has revealed and with the Savior He has provided. God does not ask you to make yourself righteous enough to earn salvation. Salvation is His gift through Jesus Christ.

Romans 6:23 (KJV)- “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

If God’s Word identifies something in your life as sin, the loving response is not to tell you that God has changed His mind so that you can remain comfortable. Neither is the loving response to mock you, despise you, or treat you as though you are beyond God’s mercy. The biblical response is to tell you the truth about sin while also telling you the wonderful truth about Jesus Christ.

John 3:16–17 (KJV)- “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.”

Jesus Christ came to save sinners. The warning about sin is not the end of the Christian message; it explains why the Gospel is such extraordinarily good news. God calls you to turn from sin, place your faith in Jesus Christ, and receive the life that only He can give.

The words God spoke through Ezekiel still reveal something beautiful about God’s heart: He does not delight in the destruction of the wicked. His call is to turn and live.

FINAL THOUGHT

Telling someone the truth is not automatically an act of hatred simply because the truth is difficult to hear. At the same time, claiming to possess the truth does not give Christians permission to be cruel, arrogant, or hateful. We must have both truth and love. We must be courageous enough to say what God has said and compassionate enough to remember why He has said it.

The man holding the sign did not become the judge of everyone who read it simply because he warned them about sin and judgment. The real question is whether his warning agreed with the Word of God. When Scripture speaks clearly, Christians should never be ashamed to speak clearly as well. We should do so humbly, remembering that we too are sinners who desperately needed the grace of God.

Perhaps the most important words in this entire study are not about judgment at all. They are God’s words in Ezekiel 33:11: He desires that the wicked “turn from his way and live.” That is the purpose of the warning. God is not standing eagerly waiting for another sinner to perish. He is calling sinners to turn from their evil ways and offering them life.

So, Christian, do not allow the fear of being called hateful to silence you when God has spoken. But never allow your commitment to truth to become an excuse for actually becoming hateful. Speak the truth with courage, humility, compassion, and love, always pointing people toward Jesus Christ.

And if you are the person hearing the warning, do not become so focused on the messenger that you never examine the message. The person holding the sign cannot condemn you to hell, and neither can the person who shared this Bible study. But God has spoken in His Word, and each of us must decide how we will respond to what He has said. His invitation is still before us: turn and live.

A PRAYER FOR YOU

Heavenly Father, thank You for loving us enough to tell us the truth. Thank You that You are holy and righteous, yet rich in mercy toward sinners. Your Word tells us that You have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but desire that the wicked turn from his way and live. Help us never to mistake Your warnings for hatred when those warnings are calling us away from destruction and toward life.

Lord, I pray for the believer reading this study. Give us courage to stand upon Your Word when the world pressures us to remain silent or change what You have said. At the same time, guard our hearts against pride, cruelty, anger, and self-righteousness. Remind us that we are not the Judge and that we have no authority to invent Your standards or condemn people according to our own opinions. Teach us to speak Your truth faithfully and lovingly, with a genuine desire that sinners come to know Jesus Christ.

Father, I also pray for the person reading this who has not accepted Jesus Christ as Savior. Whatever the sin may be, help that person understand that Your warning is not a declaration that he or she is beyond hope. Let Your Holy Spirit bring conviction, open that person’s heart to the truth of Your Word, and lead that person to repentance and saving faith in Jesus Christ. Help every one of us to examine our own lives rather than merely identifying the sins of others.

Thank You for sending Your Son to die for sinners. Thank You that forgiveness, cleansing, and eternal life are available through Jesus Christ. May we never hide the seriousness of sin, but may we also never speak of sin without proclaiming the wonderful hope of the Gospel. Help us to speak the truth in love, to stand courageously upon Your Word, and to point people toward the Savior who calls sinners to turn and live.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

CLOSING

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You are loved—so much in fact, that we want you to know and be Believers of Biblical Truth.

Shalom Shalom.

TODAY’S DAILY BIBLE VERSE: Headship Is Never a License to Harm

Thursday, September 24, 2026

Bible Verse/Passage: Colossians 3:18–19, 18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

Verse Context:

Colossians 3:18–19 comes near the end of a chapter in which Paul moves from explaining the believer’s new life in Christ to showing what that new life should look like in everyday relationships. Earlier in the chapter, Paul commands believers to put away sinful behaviors such as anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, and filthy communication. He then tells them what should replace those things:

Colossians 3:12–14 (KJV)
12 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;
13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
14 And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.

When Paul reaches marriage in verses 18–19, he has already described the character that should govern a Christian household. Anger, wrath, and malice are to be put away. Mercy, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, forgiveness, and love are to be put on. Husbands and wives cannot separate verse 19 from the Christian character Paul has spent the chapter describing. Then Paul addresses the wife:

Colossians 3:18 (KJV)
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

The word translated “submit” is from the Greek hypotassō (ὑποτάσσω, pronounced hoo-pot-AS-so). It carries the idea of placing oneself under an ordered authority or arrangement. Paul does not erase the distinction between husband and wife. There is an order within biblical marriage, and Scripture does teach a wife’s submission to her own husband.

However, Paul adds an essential qualification: “as it is fit in the Lord.” The wife’s relationship with her husband exists within her greater relationship with Christ. Paul does not say, “Submit because your husband is lord.” He says that her conduct must be that which is fitting “in the Lord.” Her husband remains a man under the authority of Jesus Christ. Then Paul turns directly to the husband:

Colossians 3:19 (KJV)
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

The command “love” comes from agapaō (ἀγαπάω, pronounced ag-ah-PAH-oh), the verb associated with agapē love. This is not merely romantic attraction or affection. It describes a love expressed through deliberate concern for another person’s good. Paul does not tell the husband merely to possess authority over his wife. He commands him to love her.

Then comes the phrase particularly important to today’s study: “and be not bitter against them.” The Greek verb is pikrainō (πικραίνω, pronounced pik-RYE-no). It is connected with the idea of bitterness and can carry the sense of becoming bitter or embittered. In this verse, Paul prohibits the husband from allowing his relationship with his wife to become characterized by such bitterness toward her. Notice how direct the command is. Paul does not say, “Love your wife when she submits properly.” He does not make the husband’s obedience conditional upon the wife’s performance. “Husbands, love your wives” is God’s command to the husband. “Wives, submit yourselves” is God’s command to the wife. Each spouse is accountable to the Lord for his or her own obedience. This becomes particularly important when biblical headship is invoked to excuse mistreatment. Colossians 3:18 cannot honestly be used while Colossians 3:19 is discarded. The same inspired passage that speaks to the wife’s submission speaks immediately to the husband’s conduct toward her.

The surrounding verses reinforce this principle of accountable authority. Paul next addresses children and fathers:

Colossians 3:20–21 (KJV)
20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

Again, Paul recognizes authority, but he also places moral obligations upon the person exercising it. A father possesses genuine parental authority, yet that authority does not permit him to treat his children however he pleases. God commands him concerning how he exercises that authority. That pattern helps us understand verses 18–19. Biblical order is not permission for sinful behavior. A husband’s position in marriage does not place him beyond God’s commandments. Quite the opposite: he remains accountable to the Lord for what he does with the responsibility God has given him. That is the immediate force of today’s passage. Paul does not attack the biblical order of marriage. He establishes obligations within it. The wife is commanded concerning her conduct toward her husband, and the husband is commanded concerning his conduct toward his wife. Therefore, a husband cannot take a biblical teaching concerning his wife’s submission and turn it into permission for his own sin. Headship is never a license to harm because the head himself remains under the authority of Christ.

Broader Context

Colossians 3:18–19 gives us a concise command concerning the relationship between a husband and wife, but Scripture gives us much more information about what God intends marriage, leadership, submission, and love to look like. When these passages are considered together, an important distinction becomes clear: the Bible teaches male headship, but it never gives a husband permission to use that headship as justification for cruelty, intimidation, violence, degradation, or abuse. A husband receives his role from God, which means he is also accountable to God for how he fulfills it. We see the foundation for marriage before sin ever enters the world.

Genesis 2:21–24 (KJV)
21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Notice what God created. He did not create two enemies struggling for power, nor did He establish marriage as a relationship in which either spouse is free to mistreat the other. God established a union in which the two become “one flesh.” That makes abuse within marriage particularly contrary to God’s design. When a husband deliberately harms his wife, he harms the woman with whom God has joined him in a one-flesh relationship. Likewise, when a wife deliberately harms her husband, she sins against the man with whom God has joined her in that same one-flesh relationship. Abuse may take different forms and may be perpetrated by either spouse. Neither biblical headship nor biblical submission gives either husband or wife permission to sin against the other. The New Testament does not eliminate order within that relationship. Paul plainly teaches male headship.

1 Corinthians 11:3 (KJV)
3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

This verse is important because we should not respond to the abuse of biblical headship by denying biblical headship. Scripture says what it says. “The head of the woman is the man.” But notice that Paul does not stop there. “The head of every man is Christ.” That means the husband is not the highest authority in the relationship. Christ is. A Christian husband cannot rightly say, “I am the head, therefore I can treat my wife however I choose.” His own headship exists beneath the authority of Jesus Christ. Whatever authority God gives a husband must therefore be exercised in obedience to the One who stands above him. Peter makes the husband’s accountability even more explicit.

1 Peter 3:7 (KJV)
7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

There is tremendous depth in this single verse. Peter commands the husband to “dwell with them according to knowledge.” The Greek word translated “knowledge” is gnōsis (γνῶσις, pronounced GNO-sis). The husband is not instructed to treat his wife thoughtlessly. His relationship with her requires understanding and consideration.

Then Peter commands him to give “honour unto the wife.” The Greek word translated “honour” is timē (τιμή, pronounced tee-MAY), carrying the sense of honor, value, or preciousness. Whatever else someone may claim about biblical marriage, a pattern of degrading, humiliating, terrorizing, or deliberately harming a wife is incompatible with a command to give her honor.

Peter then describes husband and wife as “heirs together of the grace of life.” Biblical headship does not mean that the husband possesses greater worth before God. The Christian wife stands beside her husband as a recipient of God’s grace.
Then Peter gives a warning that should make every Christian husband pay attention: “that your prayers be not hindered.”
God cares so much about the husband’s treatment of his wife that Peter connects the man’s conduct toward her with his own fellowship with God. A man cannot mistreat his wife throughout the week and then assume that his spiritual life remains untouched because he prays, reads his Bible, attends church, or professes biblical headship. God sees what happens inside the home.

Jesus gives us an even deeper principle concerning authority itself. The world often understands authority as power over another person. Christ taught His disciples that leadership among His followers must look radically different.

Mark 10:42–45 (KJV)
42 But Jesus called them to him, and saith unto them, Ye know that they which are accounted to rule over the Gentiles exercise lordship over them; and their great ones exercise authority upon them.
43 But so shall it not be among you: but whosoever will be great among you, shall be your minister:
44 And whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all.
45 For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.

Jesus was speaking to His disciples about greatness and leadership, not specifically establishing a marriage instruction. We should be careful not to pretend the passage says something it does not. Nevertheless, the principle Christ establishes about authority among His followers is directly relevant. Christian leadership cannot be modeled after sinful domination. Jesus contrasts godly leadership with those who “exercise lordship” over others. The Greek verb behind that expression is katakyrieuō (κατακυριεύω, pronounced kat-ah-koo-ree-YOO-oh). It describes exercising mastery or dominion over someone. Then Jesus says plainly: “But so shall it not be among you.” Christ possesses more legitimate authority than any husband who has ever lived, yet He describes His own exercise of leadership in terms of service and sacrifice: “For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister.” This is why claiming biblical authority cannot transform sinful behavior into righteous behavior. Authority never makes sin holy. Scripture is equally clear about violence and cruelty.

Psalm 11:5 (KJV)
5 The LORD trieth the righteous: but the wicked and him that loveth violence his soul hateth.

There is no marital exception attached to that statement. God does not condemn violence everywhere except behind the closed doors of a Christian home. Nor does a marriage license transform violence into biblical discipline.

The same principle applies to threatening and intimidating behavior. Paul describes what should characterize the believer who has put on the new man:

Colossians 3:8–10 (KJV)
8 But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.
9 Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;
10 And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him:

This brings us directly back to today’s passage. A husband cannot defend anger, wrath, malice, cruelty, or violence by appealing to a verse about his wife’s submission when the same Word of God commands him to put away anger, wrath, and malice.

Nor does Scripture permit us to redefine submission as permission to participate in sin. The apostles demonstrated the governing principle when human authority demanded disobedience to God.

Acts 5:29 (KJV)
29 Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men.

Again, Acts 5 is not a marriage passage. It concerns the apostles responding to governing religious authorities. But the principle is unmistakable: no human authority outranks God. Husband, pastor, employer, parent, or government, every legitimate human authority remains beneath divine authority. That matters enormously when Scripture is misused in abusive relationships. “Submit” cannot mean, “Help me sin.” It cannot mean, “Accept whatever I do because I am your husband.” It cannot turn wickedness into righteousness simply because the person committing it occupies a position of authority. And Scripture gives us one more safeguard against such a distortion: love itself has a biblical definition.

1 Corinthians 13:4–7 (KJV)
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

This gives us a biblical test for anyone claiming that abusive behavior is somehow an exercise of Christian love or headship. Love “is kind.” Love “doth not behave itself unseemly.” Love “seeketh not her own.” Love “is not easily provoked.” Love “rejoiceth not in iniquity.” Therefore, we do not have to choose between condemning domestic abuse and believing in biblical male headship. Scripture requires us to do both. The husband is called to lead, but he leads beneath Christ. The wife is called to biblical submission, but her husband does not become her god. The husband is commanded to love rather than become bitter, to give honor rather than humiliation, and to recognize his wife as an heir together with him of the grace of life. A man who uses Scripture to justify abusing his wife has not discovered a stronger form of biblical headship. He has taken something God ordained and twisted it into permission for behavior God condemns. Jesus does not authorize that kind of headship. He stands in judgment over it.

Application

For the Believer

Colossians 3:18–19 forces the Christian to examine marriage through the authority of Christ rather than through culture, tradition, pride, or personal preference. For the Christian husband, this passage should cause serious self-examination. Biblical headship is not a privilege to be demanded while ignoring the responsibilities God attaches to it. A man cannot insist that his wife obey Scripture while excusing himself from Scripture. If he demands submission while treating his wife with bitterness, intimidation, humiliation, cruelty, threats, manipulation, or violence, the problem is not that he believes too strongly in biblical headship. The problem is that he is disobeying the God who gave him that responsibility. A Christian man should therefore ask himself difficult questions. Does my wife feel safe speaking honestly to me? When she disagrees with me, do I listen, or do I use my position to silence her? Do I control through fear? Do I belittle her? Do I threaten her? Do I use money, Scripture, sex, the children, or my position in the church as weapons against her? When I am angry, does my family fear what I might do next? Those questions matter because Christianity is not something a man performs publicly while behaving entirely differently behind closed doors.

1 Peter 3:7 (KJV)
7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

That final warning should arrest the attention of every Christian husband: “that your prayers be not hindered.” A man cannot compartmentalize his relationship with God from his treatment of his wife. God sees both.

But Christian wives must also examine themselves. Submission does not make a wife incapable of being abusive. A woman can wound her husband through contempt, manipulation, threats, humiliation, violence, coercion, relentless verbal attacks, or deliberate efforts to control him. Being under biblical headship does not excuse sinful conduct toward the person exercising that headship. God’s commands concerning Christian character apply to both husband and wife.

Ephesians 4:31–32 (KJV)
31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

There is no exemption here for husbands or wives. “All bitterness, and wrath, and anger” are to be put away. There is also an application for the believer who is being abused. Scripture should never be used to convince a victim that enduring violence, threats, coercion, or serious mistreatment without seeking help is somehow evidence of greater faithfulness to God. Biblical submission is never submission to sin. No husband or wife possesses authority greater than God’s.

If you are being abused, telling someone is not betraying your marriage. Seeking safety is not the same thing as rejecting God’s design for marriage. Asking your pastor, trusted Christian leadership, family, counselors, law enforcement, or other appropriate authorities for help is not automatically rebellion against your spouse. When there is immediate danger, safety must come first. And the church must hear this application as well. Christians should never become accomplices to abuse by misusing Scripture. Telling an endangered person simply to “submit more,” “pray harder,” or “go home and be a better spouse” without seriously addressing the abuse can compound the harm. We must uphold God’s design for marriage and confront sin within marriage. Those commitments do not contradict one another.

For the Unbeliever

Perhaps you are reading this and thinking that Christianity itself is part of the problem. Maybe you have watched someone quote Scripture while controlling, humiliating, threatening, or hurting a spouse. Perhaps Scripture was even used against you. If so, understand what today’s passage actually says. The Bible does teach an ordered relationship within marriage. We should not hide that teaching simply because modern culture may dislike it. But neither should anyone pretend that Scripture gives husbands permission to abuse their wives. It does not. The very passage that commands the wife also commands the husband. More importantly, Christianity ultimately points us beyond husbands and wives to Jesus Christ. Look at how Jesus describes Himself:

Matthew 11:28–30 (KJV)
28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Jesus possesses absolute authority, yet He is “meek and lowly in heart.” That alone exposes the contradiction of someone claiming Christ while using supposed authority as justification for cruelty.

But there is another truth you need to hear. Christianity does not merely teach people how to have healthier marriages. Our deepest problem is sin, and that problem exists in every one of us.

Romans 3:23 (KJV)
23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;

Abusers need salvation. Victims need salvation. Husbands need salvation. Wives need salvation. Pastors need salvation. You need salvation, and so do I. And God provided that salvation through His Son.

Romans 5:8 (KJV)
8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

If someone has used Christianity as a weapon against you, do not confuse that person’s sinful misuse of Scripture with Jesus Christ Himself. Judge Christ by Christ. Read what He said. Look at how He treated people. Look at the cross. And if you are the one committing abuse, Christianity does not offer you religious language with which to excuse yourself. Christ calls sinners to repentance. You do not need a better justification for your behavior. You need to acknowledge your sin, turn from it, accept accountability, and surrender yourself to Jesus Christ.

Acts 3:19 (KJV)
19 Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord;

Whether you have been wounded by someone else or you are beginning to recognize the damage you have caused, Jesus Christ calls you to Himself.
Biblical Christianity does not teach that power makes a person righteous.
It teaches that every one of us must bow before the One who is.

Final Encouragement

For the Believer

Christian marriage should be one of the places where the character of Christ is most clearly seen. Husbands, lead with strength that protects rather than harms, and with authority that serves rather than intimidates. Wives, honor God’s design for marriage while remembering that you, too, are responsible for treating your husband with love, dignity, and grace. If your marriage has become unhealthy, do not surrender hope. Sin can be confronted, help can be sought, repentance can be real, and through Christ lives and relationships can change.

A Call to Action for the Believer

Be courageous enough to act. If you recognize abusive behavior in yourself, stop defending it, confess it, seek accountability, and get help. If you are being abused, do not suffer silently because someone convinced you that silence is what God requires. Reach out to someone trustworthy and seek safety and help. And church, become the place where hurting people know they can come without fear of being dismissed, shamed, or sent back into danger. We can defend biblical marriage while fiercely opposing the abuse of anyone within it.

For the Unbeliever

Perhaps people have failed you, a spouse has wounded you, or someone claiming to represent God has given you reasons to distrust Christianity. Do not let the failures of sinful people keep you from meeting Jesus Christ. He is not the cruelty committed in His name. If you have been hurt, there is hope beyond what has happened to you. If you have been the one doing the hurting, there is still an opportunity to repent and become different. Come to Christ as you are, but come willing to surrender. He can forgive what you have done, redeem what sin has damaged, and give you a new beginning.

Our Prayer for You

Heavenly Father, we pray today for every husband and wife who reads these words. Strengthen marriages that are honoring You, heal those that are hurting, and bring truth into homes where sin has been hidden behind closed doors. Give courage to those who are afraid, wisdom to those who do not know what to do next, and trustworthy people to those who desperately need someone to help them.
Lord, confront those who are causing harm. Break through pride, excuses, anger, bitterness, and the misuse of Your Word. Bring genuine repentance where repentance is needed, and give those who have sinned the courage to admit what they have done and seek real change.

Protect those who are being abused. Give them courage to speak, wisdom to seek help, and strength to move toward safety. Give our pastors, churches, families, and communities the discernment to recognize abuse and the courage to respond with truth, compassion, and action.

Above all, draw every heart toward Jesus Christ. May our homes reflect His love, our leadership reflect His character, and our relationships bring honor to Your name. For those who do not yet know Christ, open their hearts to the salvation, forgiveness, and new life found only in Him.

In the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour, Amen.

Closing

You are loved, so much in fact, that we want you to know and be Believers of Biblical Truth.

Shalom Shalom.

TODAY’S DAILY BIBLE VERSE: A Husband’s Headship: Loving His Wife as Christ Loved the Church Ephesians 5:22–25

Monday, September 21, 2026

 Ephesians 5:22–25: 22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Verse Context

Verse Context
The Apostle Paul is speaking directly to Christian husbands and wives about the order God established within marriage. These verses do not stand alone as an isolated command for wives to submit. Paul places the responsibility of the wife and the responsibility of the husband beside one another, and both are placed within a relationship that is compared to Christ and His Church.
Paul first addresses the wife. She is told to submit herself unto “your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” The instruction is specifically concerning the relationship between a wife and her own husband. Paul then explains why: “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church.” Therefore, this passage does teach an order within Christian marriage. The husband is identified as the head, and the wife is instructed to be subject unto her husband.
However, Paul does not stop after establishing the husband’s headship. In verse 25, he turns directly to the husband and establishes the standard by which that headship must operate:

Ephesians 5:25:“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”

This is crucial to understanding the passage. Paul does not tell the husband merely that he is the head and then leave him free to determine what headship looks like. The husband’s model is Jesus Christ Himself.

Christ’s relationship with His Church therefore becomes the standard against which a Christian husband’s treatment of his wife must be examined. Jesus did not use His authority for selfish gratification. He did not exploit those under His authority. He did not establish His headship through intimidation, cruelty, humiliation, or violence. Instead, Paul directs the husband toward the sacrificial nature of Christ’s love: “and gave himself for it.”

That changes the way biblical male headship must be understood. Headship is not permission for a husband to exercise unlimited power and control over his wife. It places an enormous responsibility upon him. The man identified as the head is simultaneously commanded to pattern his treatment of his wife after the One who sacrificed Himself for those He loved.

Likewise, the wife’s command to submit cannot be separated from the husband’s command to love. A husband cannot faithfully emphasize verses 22 through 24 while ignoring verse 25. He cannot demand that his wife fulfill the responsibility God gave her while refusing to fulfill the responsibility God gave him.

This becomes especially important when Scripture is discussed in connection with domestic abuse. Nothing within Ephesians 5:22–25 gives a husband biblical permission to physically harm his wife, threaten her, terrorize her, humiliate her, degrade her, sexually coerce her, or use his position as head of the home as a means of controlling her through fear.

The standard given to the husband is not another abusive husband. It is not the culture around him. It is not his father, his pastor, or his personal understanding of what a man should be.

His standard is Jesus Christ.

Therefore, before a Christian husband uses this passage to ask whether his wife is properly submitting to him, he must also be willing to place himself beneath the examination of the very same passage and ask:
Am I loving my wife as Christ loved the Church?

That is the question with which biblical male headship must begin.

Broader Context

To understand the weight of Paul’s instructions in Ephesians 5:22–25, we need to step outside the immediate verses and look at the world in which the Ephesian believers lived. Ephesus was part of the Roman Empire, and the first-century Greco-Roman household was strongly hierarchical. Ancient discussions of household order commonly dealt with three relationships: husband and wife, parent and child, and master and slave. Paul addresses those same three relationships beginning in Ephesians 5 and continuing into Ephesians 6. Historical scholarship therefore commonly describes this portion of Ephesians as a Christian “household code.”

That historical setting matters. Paul was writing to people living in a society where the male head of a household ordinarily possessed substantial social and legal authority. We should therefore be careful about imagining that Paul’s original readers lived in a society resembling a modern American marriage. They did not. The Roman world was highly stratified, and submission to those occupying positions of authority was an ordinary feature of social and household life.

But Paul does something important with that existing household structure: he places the Christian household under the authority of Jesus Christ. The husband may be the head of the wife, but the husband himself is not the highest authority. He remains accountable to God.

We can see this larger principle elsewhere in the same section of Ephesians. When Paul eventually addresses masters—another group possessing considerable household authority in the Roman world—he reminds them that earthly authority does not make them supreme.

Ephesians 6:9 (KJV) “And, ye masters, do the same things unto them, forbearing threatening: knowing that your Master also is in heaven; neither is there respect of persons with him.”

This verse is not specifically a marriage command, and we should not pretend that it is. However, it reveals an important principle within Paul’s larger household teaching: possessing earthly authority does not remove a Christian from God’s authority. The person who has authority is himself under authority.

That principle is essential when discussing biblical male headship. A husband does not become the ultimate authority simply because Scripture identifies him as the head of his wife. His headship exists beneath the lordship of Jesus Christ.

Paul establishes that larger order explicitly elsewhere.

1 Corinthians 11:3 (KJV): “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.”

Notice that the man does not stand at the top of that order. Scripture identifies the man as the head of the woman, but it immediately identifies Christ as “the head of every man.” Therefore, biblical male headship carries accountability. A husband cannot legitimately appeal to the authority God has placed beneath him while disregarding the authority God has placed above him.

This becomes especially important when we return to the command that husbands love their wives. Paul gives a similar command to the church at Colosse.

Colossians 3:18–19 (KJV): “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.”

Once again, Scripture presents both responsibilities. The wife is instructed to submit to her husband, but the husband is simultaneously commanded to love his wife and “be not bitter against” her.

The language of headship, therefore, cannot honestly be isolated from the Bible’s commands concerning the husband’s behavior toward the woman he leads.

Peter goes even further by connecting the husband’s treatment of his wife with his own relationship with God.

1 Peter 3:7 (KJV): “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”

This is significant. Scripture does not describe the wife as someone whom the husband is free to demean because he occupies the position of headship. Peter commands the husband to give his wife honour. He also warns the husband that his conduct toward his wife can have spiritual consequences: his prayers can be hindered.

That provides an important biblical safeguard against turning headship into domination. The wife has responsibilities before God. The husband has responsibilities before God. And neither spouse’s responsibility cancels the other’s.

The broader biblical picture also shows that marriage did not originate in Roman culture or with Paul. Paul is applying something much older. Marriage goes back to creation itself.

Genesis 2:23–24 (KJV): “And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

The wife is not presented as a disposable possession. She is joined to her husband so intimately that Scripture describes the two as “one flesh.”

Jesus Christ Himself later reaffirmed that creation ordinance.

Matthew 19:4–6 (KJV): “And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

This brings us back to why Paul’s instructions to husbands are so significant. The woman a husband is commanded to love is not merely someone living under his authority. According to God’s design for marriage, she has become one flesh with him.

Paul develops precisely that point later in Ephesians 5.

Ephesians 5:28–29 (KJV): “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:”

Here the biblical picture becomes even clearer. The husband’s responsibility toward his wife is described with the words “nourisheth” and “cherisheth.” His headship does not release him from tenderness, care, protection, honour, or sacrificial love. Those qualities are part of understanding what Scripture expects from him.

This is where the historical background and the larger biblical context meet.

Paul was writing within a culture already familiar with male household authority. He did not need to invent the concept of a male household head for his first-century readers. What distinguishes his Christian instruction is the standard under which that man must now live: Jesus Christ. The husband is commanded to love sacrificially, to regard his wife as his own flesh, to nourish and cherish her, and elsewhere Scripture commands him to give her honour and not be bitter against her.

That makes it very difficult to reconcile biblical male headship with domestic abuse. A man may claim authority. He may call himself the head of his household. He may demand submission. But Scripture does not permit us to evaluate biblical headship merely by asking whether the husband occupies the position of head. We must also ask whether he is behaving according to the responsibilities God attached to that position. The biblical husband is himself a man under authority—the authority of Jesus Christ. And the Christ whom he is commanded to imitate gave Himself for the Church rather than using the Church for Himself.

Application

Appreciating God’s Greatness

God’s greatness can be seen in the wisdom of His design for marriage. God did not establish marriage without providing direction for how a husband and wife should treat one another. He created an order within marriage, but He did not design that order so that one person could selfishly use, mistreat, intimidate, or abuse the other. Instead, God placed the husband under an extraordinary standard: Jesus Christ Himself.

Ephesians 5:25 (KJV): “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”

Consider the greatness of that design. God could have simply commanded husbands to be good to their wives. Instead, He gave them the greatest example of sacrificial love the world has ever known. The husband is commanded to look at Jesus Christ and learn from Him how to love the woman God has joined to him.

God also demonstrates His wisdom by describing husband and wife as one flesh.

Genesis 2:24 (KJV): “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

God designed marriage so that a husband cannot rightly view his wife’s welfare as separate from his own. Her well-being matters. Her safety matters. Her dignity matters. Her spiritual well-being matters. God’s design calls the husband to recognize that the woman beside him is joined to him in a relationship established by God.

That truth is repeated in Paul’s teaching.

Ephesians 5:28–29 (KJV): “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:”

God does not command the husband to dominate what has become one flesh with him. He commands him to nourish and cherish his wife. God’s greatness is revealed in a design in which authority carries responsibility, headship carries accountability, and love is measured against the sacrificial love of Jesus Christ.

For the Believer

For the Christian husband, this passage requires honest self-examination. It is easy to ask whether a wife is submitting properly. It is much harder for a husband to stand before God and ask whether he is loving properly. Scripture gives the husband no permission to emphasize his wife’s responsibility while minimizing his own. His responsibility is not merely to provide an income, make decisions, or identify himself as the spiritual head of his home. He is commanded to love his wife according to the example of Jesus Christ.

That means the Christian husband must examine not only what he does, but how he treats his wife while doing it. Scripture is direct:

Colossians 3:19 (KJV): “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.”

Bitterness, contempt, humiliation, intimidation, threats, excessive control, and violence cannot simply be renamed “headship.” Calling sinful behavior biblical leadership does not make it biblical. The Christian husband is also commanded to honour his wife.

1 Peter 3:7 (KJV): “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”

A man should notice the seriousness of those final words. God cares so deeply about how a husband treats his wife that Peter warns husbands that their conduct toward their wives can affect their own prayer lives.

The Christian wife also needs to understand what Scripture actually says. Biblical submission is real, and Ephesians 5 does teach the headship of the husband. But submission does not make sinful behavior righteous. A husband’s position does not transform cruelty into leadership, intimidation into authority, or violence into discipline. Every Christian remains ultimately accountable to God.

Acts 5:29 (KJV): “Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men.”

No human authority replaces God’s authority. Marriage does not place either spouse beyond God’s commands. Therefore, Christian marriage should never become a struggle over who possesses the most power. Husband and wife should desire a marriage in which God’s order is respected and God’s character is reflected. The husband should lead with the understanding that he will answer to Christ for how he exercises that responsibility, and the wife should be able to recognize in her husband’s leadership the love, care, sacrifice, and faithfulness Scripture requires of him.

A Call to Action for the Believer

Christian husbands, examine yourselves honestly. Do not begin by examining your wife. Begin with yourself. Ask whether your words nourish or wound. Ask whether your behavior produces security or fear. Ask whether you listen to your wife or merely issue decisions. Ask whether you honour her opinions even when you disagree. Ask whether you use Scripture to lead your family toward Christ or as a weapon for getting your own way. Most importantly, compare your behavior with the standard God actually gave you.

Ephesians 5:25 (KJV): “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”

If your treatment of your wife includes intimidation, humiliation, manipulation, threats, coercion, physical violence, or other abusive behavior, do not defend it by appealing to headship. Repent of it. Scripture tells believers what genuine repentance should produce.

Matthew 3:8 (KJV): “Bring forth therefore fruits meet for repentance:”

Repentance is more than saying that you are sorry after an abusive incident and then repeating the same behavior. Genuine repentance should produce change.

For the Christian wife who is being abused, do not confuse another person’s sinful behavior with God’s will for your life. Being commanded to submit to your husband does not mean that God commands you to pretend evil is good or to hide serious wrongdoing so that an abuser can continue harming you.

And for every believer reading this, do not use Scripture to excuse what Scripture condemns. If you have used biblical headship to justify selfishness, repent. If you have encouraged an abused person to remain silent simply because she is a wife, reconsider whether you have confused submission with permission to sin against her. Bring your understanding of marriage back underneath the complete teaching of God’s Word.

For the Unbeliever

Perhaps you do not consider yourself a Christian, but you have seen marriages in which someone claimed Christianity while behaving in ways that were controlling, degrading, frightening, or abusive. Do not confuse someone’s misuse of the Bible with what the Bible actually teaches. The Jesus Christ presented in Scripture does not provide an example of selfish power. He provides an example of sacrificial love.

Romans 5:8 (KJV): “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

That is the Christ Christian husbands are commanded to imitate.

But His sacrificial love reaches far beyond marriage. Jesus Christ did not merely provide Christians with an example of how to treat other people. He gave Himself for sinners. The Gospel begins with the reality that every one of us has sinned.

Romans 3:23 (KJV): “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;”

Yet God did not leave mankind without hope.

John 3:16 (KJV): “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

The same sacrificial love we have examined in this study points directly toward the cross. Jesus Christ gave Himself so that sinners could be forgiven and reconciled to God. If you do not yet know Christ, do not stop with what the Bible teaches about marriage. Continue reading. Continue asking questions. Look carefully at the Jesus Christ whom Scripture reveals. The greatest truth in this lesson is not simply that a husband should love his wife. It is that Jesus Christ loved us enough to give Himself for us.

Final Encouragement

There is great joy in a marriage where both husband and wife seek to honor God and follow His Word. No marriage will be perfect, but every day provides another opportunity to love better, forgive more freely, grow closer to Christ, and walk together toward the finish line. Husband and wife, keep pressing forward, keep encouraging one another, and keep Christ at the center of your home. If you have fallen short, repent, get back up, and continue toward the foot of the cross. And if you do not yet know Jesus Christ as your Saviour, keep seeking Him, keep reading His Word, and keep moving toward the One who loved you enough to give Himself for you. There is hope, forgiveness, restoration, and everlasting life in Jesus Christ.

Our Prayer for You

Heavenly Father, we come before You acknowledging that marriage was Your beautiful creation from the very beginning, yet we confess that we have often taken what You designed for love, companionship, faithfulness, and godly order and twisted it through our sin into something selfish, broken, painful, and sometimes even violent. Forgive us, Lord, for the ways we have dishonored marriage, misused Your Word, distorted the roles You gave husbands and wives, and used what You intended for good to hurt one another. We ask You to place Your mighty hand upon marriages today. Restore what sin has broken, soften hardened hearts, heal those who have been wounded, and teach husbands and wives again to love and honor one another according to Your Word. As someone reads these words today or even years from now, may Your Holy Spirit speak directly to that heart. Where there is sin, bring repentance; where there is hurt, bring healing; where there is bitterness, bring forgiveness; and where a marriage seems beyond hope, remind them that nothing is beyond Your reach. Bring husbands and wives closer to You and, in drawing closer to You, draw them closer to one another. May our homes once again reflect the beauty You intended when You first declared that the two should become one flesh. In the precious name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Closing

You are loved, so much in fact, that we want you to know and be Believers of Biblical Truth.

Shalom Shalom.

When Home Isn’t Safe, Shouldn’t the Church Be?

Does it trouble you that someone can sit in a church pew hearing about the sanctity of marriage while privately enduring abuse at home?

Have you ever struggled to reconcile what you have heard about staying married to an abusive spouse with what you know about the love and compassion of Jesus Christ?

What happens when someone experiencing abuse wants help but is afraid to approach the pastor, doesn’t know whom to trust, or simply doesn’t believe the church is prepared to help?

Have you ever feared that telling someone about your abuse would mean everyone finding out—and making an already dangerous situation worse?

Have you ever feared finally asking for help, only to hear, “I’ll pray for you,” when what you desperately needed was someone prepared to help you?

These are difficult questions, but the Church cannot afford to avoid them.

As part of my graduate ministry internship, I am studying how Christian churches understand and respond to domestic violence and intimate partner abuse. The goal is to use what we learn to develop a practical, biblically grounded program that helps churches become better educated, better prepared, and safer places for people experiencing abuse.

You do not have to be a survivor to participate. If you have experienced abuse, supported someone who has, have experience in the Christian church, or simply care about how the Church responds to domestic violence, your voice matters.

Our previous Facebook post reached nearly 10,000 people and generated more than 360 link clicks—yet only nine people completed the survey.

This time, I need more than a click. I need your voice.

Please take a few minutes to complete the survey. Your answers will directly help shape a program designed to help churches confront the sin of domestic violence and abuse with biblical truth, greater understanding, compassion, and a clear plan for helping people who need it.

Please take the survey. Then please share it with everyone.copy and post this link on your blogs and on your instagram and Facebook pages.

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/KMKRGWD

Master’s Degree Internship- The Church Responds: A Ministry Study of Domestic Violence, Pastoral Preparedness, and Survivor Support

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

After more than seven years working in domestic violence, I have seen firsthand how complicated these situations can become—especially when faith, marriage, safety, and the responsibilities of the church intersect.

As I complete my master’s degree at Regent University, my internship project, The Church Responds: A Ministry Study of Domestic Violence, Pastoral Preparedness, and Survivor Support, is examining how churches understand and respond to domestic violence.

The first step is this **anonymous survey**. More surveys will follow, but this one will begin giving me real data about what churches are doing, what people know, and where gaps may exist.

I would greatly appreciate a few minutes of your time to complete it. More importantly, please help me get this survey beyond my/our own circle. Share it with your Facebook friends, members of your church, and anyone you know who may have experienced domestic violence. Post the link to this blog. Please consider sending the link to your pastor or church leadership and asking them to share it as well.

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/KMKRGWD

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WHY THIS STUDY TODAY

Verse Context

BROADER CONTEXT

Who Determines What Is True?

A Quick KJV Word Note — “Thy”

Does the Bible Actually Identify Homosexual Conduct as Sin?

The Larger Problem Is Unrepentant Sin

Struggling With Sin Is Not the Same as Making Peace With Sin

Who Is Actually Doing the Judging?

Quick KJV Word Help:

Sometimes Love Must Warn

Telling the Truth Can Require Courage

The Warning Must Lead to the Gospel

APPLICATION

Appreciating God’s Greatness

For the Believer

A Call to Action for the Believer

For the Unbeliever

FINAL THOUGHT

A PRAYER FOR YOU

CLOSING

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Application

For the Believer

For the Unbeliever

Final Encouragement

For the Believer

A Call to Action for the Believer

For the Unbeliever

Our Prayer for You

Closing

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Verse Context

Broader Context

Final Encouragement

Our Prayer for You

Closing

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